When I awoke to being afire, I wondered if anyone before had such a thing happen to them. I had looked out for this for years, even ready about this act of self-immolation but never really “got” it or understood.  There is no way to understand because it just isn’t like that. How can I tell you what it is to kiss the lips of a goddess or god? I could, but you would make it up for yourself from my own words so that we would each have our own approximated versions.  They’d be different because words are so limited.  And because this is not something to be understood.  It is something to be experienced.

I had read around the edges of our esoteric understandings, hadn’t I?  Why didn’t I know what this thing was?  There is no way to know.  There is only experience. But when I did go looking, an intuitive friend suggested I try the Nag Hammadi.  It was there that I saw the world unfold before me.  It was not through the Hindu or Muslim or Zorasterian….but Christian.  Funny that awakening and the kundalini would be found there….but there it was.  It actually answered to me a deep sense of upset I have felt my whole life as an older life cam tumbling out of this like a bolt of cloth.  In this lifetime, I was one of those so-called “Gnostics” of a sort, which is to say that I once lived with the knowledge that what Yeshuah tried to do here was to wake us up, like all great teachers….but they did a real job on his teachings. In no other corner of our world of teaching has someone’s message been more subject to the slice and dice of bias and recreation of a man’s words for their own purposes.

The Apex Teachings of Jesus just didn’t have a chance of getting through.  What’s more, even the disciples seemed to feel it was dangerous to share this with just anyone. SO a lot was hidden.  Still more was driven underground or was simply not understood and was deemed “heretical.”  This was a very different Christianity.  The one we have today is fine, but it bears few threads that will lead ANYONE to liberation. The great teaching was reduced to a fine societal code for keeping people nice and docile. The followers were sheep and the shepherd moved the sheep around. Its kind of a mad thing, really, when you think of it.

The apex teachings of Jesus didn’t have a chance. No, this “new” Jesus that the new church fathers were going to fashion in 400 A.D. was going to be a chaste and pure man who was a god as surely as Jehovah was an authority over humankind.  And we would all OBEY this god of ours.  Its what humans do the best; control.  But liberation is not about control.  It is about allowing the impossible to happen.  It is about allowing every grain of sand to flow through your hand that lies on the earth in a moment of time.  It is possible for the human spirit to experience this.  It is possible to be entirely changed.  It is possible to win your freedom.  Jesus asks his own people if the teachings did not themselves say that humans are gods after he was criticized for speaking heresy.  He spoke it because he knew it to be the case.  In us lies not just the divine spark, but that which is godly.  What Jesus found, we each can find.  But who would need a church after finding the god or goddess within themselves?

Doing this, setting yourself aflame like this, though, is a lot of “work.”  It is a lot of work for us humans to be so honest, so candid with ourselves that we are willing to admit to all that we have done that has been in error, that has been twisted or turned, angled this way or that, to the brilliance of the great white light that is the source of all transformation.  We are riddled with error, my friends.  We are.  So sitting back and just letting this light into you is the healing thing…it will seem to tear you apart…but it is only because so much is nonessential….but as time goes by you will see it is the greatest of graces.  It takes so much effort to let ourselves be undone simply because we RESIST it so much and have done so for so long.

It is a lot of work for us silly humans because we do not know how to really learn sometimes.  I know, because I have resisted truly learning.  You cannot teach anyone who thinks they already know it all. Such full vessels are where the fools of the world seek repose and congratulate themselves that they have some piece of what is true, that they have it all figured out.  But there are so many “truths” are there not?  So many things to believe, so many biases to accept in the process of taking such delicious bait.  And yet, beyond all of our assumptions and knowing lies something still and entirely explosive.  Taking it into yourself, just this spark, is enough to engulf you in the purifying flame of the alchemical urge…..the divine spark rests in us all and it desires to set us each aflame.  I say “take it into you” but this is not true….you take it into your willingness to accept that it is already INSIDE of you. Awakening is what we all are.  It is a verb, not a noun.

This flame will burn away all thoughts about what you believed were true and leave you simple, less encumbered, sometimes lonely, even sad for the life you thought you had or wanted or the world you thought you had or wanted.  It takes time to adjust as you auger deeper into the depths of your soul and root out the errors that have been there for lifetimes.  Oh yes, you will learn that this is all a giant cycling from one moment to the next….from one life to another life…and to another and another….

We live so many lives because we are such stubborn beings, unwilling or unable to realize who or what we are deep down.  The gift of the deity is encoded in our cells, in the very atoms and subatomic particles that make up our bodies. You can feel this energy all the way down in the core of each atom in your body if you allow your awareness to open you that deep.  If you do, you will witness and fan the flames of an amazing immolation that is taking place.  I did not start this fire, but I am certainly fanning these flames.

Yeshuah said “No one comes to the Father and Mother except by me.” What he meant was that there was not anyone else that he knew of who had what he had, which was awakening.  So while it sounds like he was bringing something novel to earth, he really wasn’t.  He KNEW there was no one else who had it. He had studied, he had spent years in meditation, and he had traveled widely. He KNEW that this was rare.  Very rare.  When he said that no one came to it except by him, he meant it.  If you wanted to learn about it at that time or in the middle east, Jesus was the man. But this was taken to mean that NO ONE else anywhere or at any other time EVER had this except the would-be god-man named Jesus.  What Jesus did, you can do.  I did.  Thousands of others have.  Many more will.  And this kindling of flame in our spirits and bodies will bring great change, such that has not been seen before.  Mark my words. At no other time have so many awakened all within such a short period of time.

It will continue.  It will continue because the spirit has said so.  The second coming of the Christ is this….and it is just now filling thousands of people who often have had no tie to religion.  That is because this is not about a chosen group but those who have managed to do enough work to loosen themselves from the moorings of their old way of being.  They have done the three things critical to awakening that exist with every person who has ever awakened.

You do not need a church.  Waking up means you no longer need the structure of someone telling you what is or is not right.  consensus reality is itself something that is riddled with madness.  Why would anyone want to be like anyone “normal” ever again?  And even saying this, I see how it is that the followers of this Christ tried their best to make a wonder-filled church which had bits and pieces of the gold which did not tarnish peeking out here and there along with lesser brass or coppers, all pretty in their own way, but which do change due to their error.  The pure spark, the pure flame, which is eternally lit in us will bring us all to the doorstep of the divine as soon as we each discover the place inside of us where flame or spark meets the tinder that aches to be set afire and burned to ash so a wonder may emerge….

I learned of my condition not by way of the Hindu but the Christian because I think I had a small score to settle with the world of those who would seek to make my master’s teachings into a polluted lake of stale purity.  The Father and the Mother shall join in ecstatic embrace knowing that their union births the transformative Christ Consciousness.  It is ever-so whether Druid, Native American, Christian, Hindu, Muslim,Judaic, Zoroastrian, or any other faith.  Waking up to this leads one to knowing through direct experience and the end of all systems, which supposedly exist to help us reach liberation.  No system has ever been able to contain it, yet those who have known it will speak of it, even vainly, in the hopes of helping others.  It is a fire which will burn, but it is also a fire that will transmute.  Resisting it is not a way to move forward…..but resisting may well be the lesson many of us are set to learn (myself included).

I wish you the best, and I hope that you find the tri-fold path that leads to this most wondrous of all transformations.

P.

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