If you aren’t happy, it is all your fault.  I was told that this was an old saying from around the Mediterranean.  I think its sound advice.  No pushing responsibility for your own happiness or the lack of it onto others.  I was married with children and was involved in a relationship with some co-dependency.  What this meant was that neither she nor I stood up for being happy on our own but sought to have our happiness validated through the other.  The problem with this is that it is essentially a way to give away our own personal power, and when that happens, no good can come from it.  relationships, though, can run along for years in this way just as long as no big issues crop up. But over time, it can begin to accumulate more dysfunction in its wake and this can create big problems.  it is easy for me to see just how abusive this person was to me, but the truth is, I chose her, took part, and even tried to get her to see the light probably as she was trying to do the same with me.  Radical honesty is in order, but sometimes in relationships like this if people are unwilling to grow or change, it means you most often have to go your own way because it will wind up being just more of the same.  Until we are done with the issue that once caused us hurt or pain, we are destined to repeat it, and it seems that the only way out is to release the desire to keep going back into the hurt without resolving it.  This most often means being able to forgive it.  And this forgiveness does not always mean forgiving another person, but yourself.  You wake up, just as I did, and see you have been allowing yourself to live in a vat of corrosive chemistry day in and day out.  Seeing and knowing this is often enough motivation to help bring about he change necessary.  But the change doe snot come from pointing the finger at others, but at admitting the problem was within us all the time  No, you do not own anothers’ own bad behavior, just your own.  You entered into it, it is your freewill to move out of it.  To do this requires a good deal of not just honesty but also compassion  Maybe just a lot more compassion.  I think our meters are running low, am I right?

So if you want to sing your song a little differently, or are hung up yourself on wanting to blame others for some perceived ill, I highly recommend that you read the following three articles listed below  first.  Getting off the big trip of ego is a good way to help calm things down a few notches. Being responsible for your own happiness is a true path to actually BEING happy!  Pretty amazing, huh?!!

How To Stop Blaming Other People For Your Own Misery

If You Are Unhappy, it Might Just Be Your Fault

Learning How To Live Without Toxic People

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