Archives for the month of: November, 2013

If you think that you know where other people are in their process life will deal you a wake up blow, because even when you are awakened, knowing where someone is is one of the most difficult things to really know.

Awakening opens you up, no doubt.  However, kundalini does not completely disrobe you of the distorting dross that lies before you which you are looking through.  It brings the potential of incredible insight into how things are, no doubt, and the world begins to clarify as these scales fall from the eyes of the self, but it does so incrementally.  With each reveal, we assume we become all knowing. We become more knowing.  Ego leaps us forward telling us we are where we are not. We wax foolish.  This is the most dangerous place to be without humility and grace by our side.  We assume much and know less and less.  Projections rule the day.  This is when turning the search light into our own process is so critical.  We fail with others but we succeed so much better when we deal with our own.  Everything we see around us is measured against our own inner distortions. Of these, we have lots.  Humility.  Grace.

Beware anyone who proclaims they know where you are and offers you advice.  I might know what it is like for someone to go through “ego-death” as someone recently wrote to me about.  I know just where he is….but I cannot know exactly what his experience is.  I can only know my own. And in looking through the windows of his own soul, I am gazing through the windows of my own soul first. And then into his. And who am I to proclaim to know where he is?  Look, the world is full of the walking wounded, and everyone deserves compassion, if only to bear our own souls to that place within ourselves where we learn how this is done for our own good if not not for the other.

The gift of individuality is a big one, cosmically it lays the responsibility for your own spiritual sovereignty at your feet and no one, not even the Creator will ever mess with that.  THAT is just how sacred freewill and individuality is.  As such, you cannot pick up anothers’ experience.  You will always view it through your own. I have said many times that the saying of Anais Nin goes, we don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.  This individuality also means that you alone come to the divine.  No one hauls you up to it. We each reach it on our own.  How many times have I known someone with such incredible insight fall so terribly far from knowing where I am?  When someone starts telling me or others how it is that I feel, that is when I run for cover because this is where the greatest illusions get spun.  Karma projects its distortions writ large and nothing good every comes from it.

Does it mean we cannot empathize with others or feel their presence? No, we most certainly can, but don’t ever be fooled that what you feel is directly them. Years may pass before you wake up to realize that what you were seeing was your own version of that own secret world of another. It is a lens through a lens.    I know of nothing thus far that suggests that this will ever change. As humans, we like to think we WILL KNOW. Bearing that, through our egos, we proclaim to know some great immutable truth.  But fortunately for the world, we just know our own.  We can relate, yes, but we always come home to our own hearth, to our own assembly of self for council and nurture.

We are not entirely alone, for we also live in that vast sea together, but this individuality serves us for a purpose we have found so important that we have taken this on in each life.

Humility is the greatest balm for the ego, for false masters and would-be authorities of this world.  It is also the hardest one to take and the strongest medicine for all of us.  Its reward is a spreading grace all through our being.

I bow deep before your greatness……

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Someone recently wrote to me and described a harrowing process he is going through in awakening.  No doubt, he is caught in this tight vice of an experience and is having trouble getting to the other side of it.  And yet, the process he is locked in is what kundalini does to us.  It rewires us, remakes us. It really does. Its easy for me to forget what it was like before awakening. Its getting easy now for me to forget what it was like that first year when I felt awakening stirring in me. It was so obvious how I had changed.  I write in my book, which is based on many journal entries during the awakening that it was as though I woke up one day speaking a different language.  From another planet. Just like that.  Boom.  Transformation underway.  Bye-bye Kansas!  But what my friend helped to remind me about is how we can get caught up in others’ feelings without realizing its them that we are feeling.

There is a curious capacity we develop when we awaken which is the ability to feel a person’s emotions and feelings so strongly that they feel like they are our own.  It is disorienting sometimes to have this happen, but the key to coping with this part of the experience is with awareness. Having the ability to stop and ask yourself a few simple questions is all that you will need to begin to discern between what is truly yours and what is someone else’s. Or perhaps, your engagement with another’s energy whether conscious or not….

People whom I know who have had this happen to them, most often speak of it as though it is now what they must do, that they are now suddenly more empathic.  But this is not correct.  It isn’t. If you are feeling others’ feelings around you, I want you to try an experiment in awareness and next time it happens, I want you to stop for a moment and ask yourself if you are feeling EVERYONE’S energy in that moment or if it is just one or two people in the room or the place where this is happening.  I have spoken with people who have observed decades worth of experience who have had the ability to really question as well as observe what has been happening to them and what I have found is that we attract what we are at the time.  For example, I know a therapist who has noticed that the issues she has in regards to ghosts, she will have clients coming to her in large numbers who will have similar issues.  Another person who has a major glitch from his past finds that he keeps attracting people in his work that has the exact same issue that he is still dealing with in his life from childhood.  I do the same thing and have attracted people into my life who have similar traits to people I have never gotten over.  What is interesting is when you clear the issues, and I mean really clear them, the ties can release from these people.  It is also possible that you both reach a place of healing and begin a new chapter in each of your lives (in the case of close connections in personal and intimate relationships).

You see, the experience of feeling this is so powerful and often overwhelming that it distracts us from what is actually happening, which is that we aren’t feeling EVERYONE, we are just feeling certain people.  And there is a reason for this, and it goes straight to the work that kundalini does in us, that is, if you are ready for this level of awareness to come into your experience.  What I am talking about is that in every case, we feel another early on in the kundalini process because we share something in common with them.  We are harmonized along a specific range of experience or karma.  Our energy is the same, but most often, it is about the things that remain in us that (we hope) kundalini will help to purify or release in us.  I actually had a family friend react incredibly harshly to my suggestion that she wasn’t just channeling everyone she was around as she thought she was, but that she was in fact, in each moment, channeling those people’s energy who shared something in common with her on an energy and karmic level.  When I felt her begin to pull on me energetically and I remained unmoved, she quickly got angry and shut me out in a pretty stark and hard manner.

I discuss this here because I went through the exact same thing and I now know, I was not channeling everyone in the room.  I was channeling one person only.  It was when I identified this fact that I was able to take this experience from being one where I had no control to one where I did have control or a choice.  Not only that, but after my decisive experience with examining what was at work and being honest with myself, I not longer was “captured’ by the experience like this again.  This was an experience that was different from that of the karmically joined “twin” experience, whatever you choose to call it (twin flame, twin soul, etc.) which can have a more enduring aspect and appears to also be karmic but with a sense of mission and self-work involved where feeling others randomly in public can be just…weird or off-putting.

In awakening you go through a whole range of new sensory experiences.  If you think that it’s all in your head, you will need to realize that this is simply not so.  It IS in your head, but it’s also in all things.  And the power that is now alive in your head now has the capacity to move the power latent in all things….which is to say that by connecting into the energy in all things you can more effectively get things done that need doing. this is a radically different approach to anything most people know about.  It touches on the idea of manifesting but it’s also different in how immediate and strong that it is.

Jesus, the so-called Gnostic Jesus, described this phenomenon.  He said that “once you are destroyed [ego death], when you say mountain move, it will move.” [Gospel of Phillip]  These are the siddhis or abilities/powers written about in the old Vedic texts that come about as a result of spiritual development or awakening (siddhis are one symptom of awakening).  It is also what many say should be ignored, lest they seduce you.  Well, yes, you do need to be careful with this stuff, but if you can approach it all with the innocence of a child, you can direct this power in the same way you direct an arm or your voice in order to get what you want or need.  I suppose that some feel its wrong or bad because it is an unfair advantage, but really all it is, is what you gain when you finally grow up, go through this spiritual puberty we call awakening.  Thus, everyone can inherit it. It is an ability that is of a higher order, and so with this power comes great responsibility, most certainly.  I have always asked for what I needed the most and most often in the eleventh hour.

One of the experiences is how you can feel others around you, near you emotionally, or who are connected to you spiritually, or people who are complete strangers who happen to mirror something in you.  Some of these senses are so strong that the experience is that you are yourself experiencing something as though it was your own when in fact it is from someone else.  Let me explain that for a time I would pass people on the street and I would feel their buried sense of sadness, broken-hearted feeling, their depression, their sorrow, their anxiety.  I would walk by someone on the street and I would double over from the heart pain.  Why?  Because I was more sensitive.  I was a vibrating tuning fork.  There was also another reason why I was feeling some things over others; I was not yet finished with something that was present also in these people. So for example, a man who had been injured by his spouse in his heart I would feel because he and I had the same pain in us.  I didn’t JUST feel EVERYONE.  I felt certain people. There was a rhyme and reason.  It was about mirroring. Why hadn’t I felt the lady who was walking down the street with her kids, why hadn’t I felt the old man who was walking with his wife?  Why hadn’t I felt the college student’s energy?  I had to realize I was not feeling EVERYONE.  Just certain people.  Sure, I may have had the potential to feel or read everyone the same way I read auras, but I would not ever read or feel them as deeply or as closely as what this kundalini conferred.  The events in our lives are no accidents. They follow an inner directive from us.  And if that seems impossible to you, consider that I have watched and observed this and have seen so many correlations with this that I can no longer dismiss it.  This is not a need for me to dwell in magical thinking.  It is a realization that either the world is chaos rendered into order by way of natural forces and its all just chemistry and nothing else, or everything is here because of consciousness and that everything IS consciousness.  This would be on par with what some have called this world; A Dream. It also suggests that consciousness is engaged in our physics and our world in helping to bring about certain events in our lives.  Accidental or miracle?

So it came to pass that I was at a dinner party. As I was talking with some new people I had met I began to be seized by a feeling of desperate anxiety.  I have been anxious before like this in the past.  I knew what that felt like.  It felt entirely as though it were my own.  I was feeling an energy within my own cocoon of awareness, within my own etheric sheath or auric field. It was mine, no?  Something in me said that maybe this wasn’t mine.  I thought about it.  It made no sense that it would be mine.  For one, there was no reason why I should be feeling so incredibly anxious. None. So I let my reasoning mind take some rope and try to lasso this thing some.  This is one instance where the rational does well!  So  I sat there and took stock of myself. Instead of JUST reacting.   If this wasn’t mine, then whose was it?  I asked the energy in me to show me the way.  And by golly, it did.  In a room with about seven people, the energy in me pointed me toward a man who was sitting in a chair off to the side.  He had been talking to my mother and he wasn’t someone I knew.  I decided to just be bold and speak to the man about this.

“Excuse me, but do you have a problem with feeling anxiety?”  The man pulled back in his chair, like a turtle pulling in its head. He was entirely taken off guard by my very forward question.  He had stiffened.  But as I looked at him, it was clear that I did not mean it in a hard or mean way.  I was more like a kid.  His face softened and he replied, “Well, yes, I have had some issues with anxiety.”  We both paused for a moment and he looked at me, something clearly on his mind.  He added, “In fact, I have had so much of a problem with anxiety that I have gone to therapy for it and have taken medication.”  He stopped for a third time and did the same thing; he looked at me like he was pondering something else and he said the magic words: “In fact, I was feeling very anxious the moment that you asked me about it!”  I smiled and thanked him.  I explained that I seemed to be picking up on stuff like this for some reason.  This interaction was the first case where I began the process of discerning between what was mine and what was others’ feelings.

After that incidence, the tendency to feel people like this waned somewhat. Part of it was that I tended to limit my focus more.  For some reason I had to be as open as a parking lot I think in order to begin a process of clearing, which began in earnest around that time.  As I Have cleared these old blocks, the things that I have mirrored or attracted have also changed substantially.  I once had students that were of a certain character and they have, largely, changed.  My behavior has also changed.  This results in a different kind of day and life for me. It’s an incremental process, this, but worth it because what it does is it gives me an energetic vehicle that I am in command of instead of being in command of a mass of karmic blocks and knots in my energy field….serving to distort the energy coming into me and also distorting the events that get manifested because of all those competing knots that send out bits of competing code signals to the universe.  They are me, but they are parts of me I wish I was not….but that I have not fully released.

When people say things like “She is haunted by her demons” you can know now that they are old blocks that are doing it.  These blocks act like subroutines in your psyche causing you to behave in ways you really wish you hadn’t.  Some people are entirely governed by these things. In the Gospel of Philip in the Nag Hammadi, this is what Philip describes as being the evil that must be pulled out entirely by the roots if it is to be freed from our being. It is also said in the same gospel that It is [the evil] that keeps us from doing what we want to do and it makes us do what we do not want to do. Substitute “evil” for karma, and I think you can begin to understand not just the root of evil, but also how to remove it. which requires going deep down into the very source of it.  “You say I have to go deep within myself to root this all out, but how do I do this?”  Everyone wants a method, right?  Everyone wants a way to just do it, maybe an incantation or something.  In everything I say here on this blog, it is the same; learn to feel deeply within yourself.  When you can feel deeply, you have actually begun to activate your inner sensory awareness.  Got that?  You need this awareness and you will find that the deeper you go inside of yourself, the more this sensory awareness will open up.  It is in truth, the axiom that the Greeks used to say in the temples: “Know thyself.”

You may not believe it, but once you learn how to look beyond the curtain of your own denied emotion, you will be given power over all your demons (or you will gain this to the degree that you are able to face which means that once the door is open, it is open and you don’t go back where you came from but you may only have incremental releases until it completes itself…it being a matter of time but the point being that it does not happen all at once, it can also happen incrementally).  Until you are able to adopt this childlike sense, you will be tempted by them.  Until you are the master and no longer the slave.   If you want to know about releasing blocks from your own field, I suggest you search this blog using those terms.  A lot has been written about it here. It is, in every case, based in learning how to feel deeply.  The reason why this is so important is because the deeper you can feel, the more aware you are of the occulted or hidden emotion that has been shoved down.  It is this emotion that forms the basis of so much of our karma, our difficulty in relationships, as well as our reactions an even our personal (non-religious) belief systems. With something that has such widespread influence over you, you would think that people would want to get a better handle on it, right?  One of the hardest things that we as humans do, is to be honest about those things that we have shoved down and do not want to face.  Carl Jung once famously said in effect that the self will run from facing the source of its own pain and resist changing it at the same time.  In this way, so many people become like graveyards for their cast-offs.  Search this blog using “healing blocks” and you will get many posts on this topic, from exercises that can help release stored material (like TRE for example) to ways to meditate using breathwork as the entry into the field.

This was what I wanted to drive home in my last post….which was that now as I get down to the root chakra and heal it more intensively, something has emerged for me about it and how important the root is.  It’s a foundation….I was not able to really see how much of a rock it is in our lives.  I have realized how important it is to build a good foundation with it. Now what that foundation looks like for you I can’t say. What fulfills you and bring you wonder and a good life perhaps. It is different for all of us because we are all different.  For me, I know that very recently with the healing and movement of old blocks from my root and sacral that it has allowed me to have a clearer view into that part of my energy body.  Knots tend to obscure some. I knew but did not know.

At a certain point all energy flows into a vast current of energy.  All energy from the planet, from each organism, from all life both physical and non flows into a vast surging and churning sea.  It goes from small to big to gigantic.  You can’t believe how huge it gets.  You realize that all of this is this hum of energy….we want to divide things out and say this is sexual energy and this is not and this is third eye chakra energy and….and really, it’s so much like clay.  You can knead it into any form you want and we fool ourselves with thinking that any part of it is any different from any other part or vibration.  It is all clay.  Some make teapots out of it, others make white rabbits.  It’s all CLAY.  You see?  I focused on my root being so powerfully sexually that I lost sight of its many other facets.  I had shoved down so much hurt into my lower regions that it lodged there like most people do and was turned into energetic fossils, forming stony motes in my soft energy body that hurt once kundalini turned on.  Ouch!

I think that I thought I would somehow lose something if I lost the sexual energy, so I kept it in a place where it was less than healed.  It was the last thing I was able to let go of.  It was perhaps the one thing that gave me joy and bliss but that also was forbidden and was turned raw by the built up or latent pain from the past, the shame and hurt.  What is so interesting, though, is just how much more dimensional the root has begun to appear to me.  It is so much more than just sexual or survival.  It is a certain earthy charisma, it is a vibrance that feels really good to be around. It is also the essence of abundance.  It is magnetic and if you just let it flow, this force can be felt in your body in amazing ways.  Breaking free from the old strictures is wonderful.  For me, for some reason, this step was not a sudden dropping away of the veils as has happened in the other releases of old karmic material or energy knots in my light body.  This one seems to need to be forged anew.  It seems to need or something in me knows this basic part of me had gotten misshapen over time.  But it is alright; it is all clay, right?  So day by day I keep working at it, trying to not repeat the mistakes of the past and learn from all of this that has come before me.  The idea that in changing we will lose something is itself incorrect.  It happened to me with this misnomer called “ego death” which wasn’t a death at all, and it has happened with releasing old blocks.  Something in me thought I would no longer be me even though it also knew that no, that is not what is happening in letting go….I am revealing a deeper self, my authentic self perhaps for the first time and THAT self absolutely shimmers with all sorts of energy.  It just gushes with energy all the time.

(Its wonderful)

Spiritual broad life force….sensuality, sexuality, mental energy, and more all bend out of, split from and move back into this giant current.  It can be pitched to become sensual, pitched to be sexual.  It is we who do this.  It is itself the entirety of all things…..somehow I know this is so.

I don’t expect it to be perfect, but I do expect to feel perfectly about it.

There was a time when I lived for others and told myself I was selfless. Then I realized I was living for their approval and realized that I did not love myself half as much as I needed and they did not love me half as much as they could have.  I let that go and have been reorienting myself ever since. This need to be a victim has got to go!  Being around this energy breeds more of it and its a terribly disempowering attitude. Where did I go wrong, I wonder?  I had some splinter of a thing left in me that had to be worked through I guess.  I should be thankful for those who have helped to point out the problems that remained in me as a result of what I have attracted.

I think that unless you are able to take responsibility for what you have created in your life, you wont ever really get to a place where you are a conscious co-creator.  As long as you shirk your responsibility for your own experience means you can’t touch fully how the energy drives through you from an atomic to cosmic level. For those who cannot, they are too busy handing their power over to someone else for one reason or another.  Then it becomes everyone elses fault for just about everything.

Pound pound pound, I forge the dross from this iron will.  What shall I create?  Something marvelous!

I have described these as “epiphanies” that I often have where I am most often shown something, or am taught something compliments of the intelligent energy that is moving through me.  I have embraced my creative imagination realizing the linkage it has with helping me to see and know things that are not physical but that are in the etheric or spiritual realm….the world of energy. Here the third eye sees this world.  I embrace the fact that I must allow myself to imagine.  Once that center opens inside of me, then the inner core of my sensory realm opens like a flower bud and everything becomes flow.  Bliss fills me, I feel expectant, like a man awaiting his beloved who will be along just about any time now….and then it is there.  The epiphany begins.  It could be just about anything, but it seems that I am being taught about hidden things, or secret knowledge.  What is kind of silly about saying that is that its no longer secret the moment its conveyed….so was it really secret at all? I’m having a good laugh at myself.

But the epiphanies are real.  They have helped to show me the nature or the energy body in great detail.  I have been shown the linkage between large scaled events and those on the atomic level and how these are linked and how we can learn to harness this force in our bodies to gain a degree of control or influence on events in our lives…..its not different from what we do normally as we create our own realities, its just that when you learn how to channel energy a little differently through your awareness and your brain/body, which kundalini CAN assist you with and meditational practices that are designed for helping support such shifts (and I don’t know about meditation modalities so I can’t tell you if there is one out there that exists…..if not I will make you one for you to use so you can know what I am talking about!).  I have been counseled, admonished, healed, and tutored during these epiphany moments.

The last week has been a rough one for me.  I have jumped headlong into a healing method that has helped me a great deal but has also shaken up a lot of dust in my life emotionally.  IN the last six years of my awakening I have gone from awakening and awareness of my pain body to beginning to actively assist in the removal of old emotional blocks in my energy body.  Kundalini has helped hugely and it has also helped to raise awareness of how deep this pain goes (even though sometimes a little knowledge or awareness is a difficult thing!).  But it has also helped me to clean things up and I am glad to say what looked in the beginning to be an impossible hulk of junk in my light body is now being pared down.  Day by day, week by week, blocks of every size and shape have fallen away.  WHat made me feel defeated in the beginning is now getting easier, a kind of sacred work…..excavating the bones of past lives and scattering them to the winds and blessing them, letting that chapter go so a new one may be writ. I am not bragging. I am speaking into this and saying that for anyone who feels stuck, there is a way forward.  Sometimes we try too hard.  Most often, it is in learning that the way is easy.  Jesus said “My yoke is easy.” His yoga was easy.  His means to bliss was not a difficult thing. And so it is or can be for anyone.  It was hard for me when I thought it was hard.  When I consider it is easy, it becomes easy.  I have this past week gone to a reiki club for some work.  As I have detailed in recent posts, I have been having root issues that have dogged me the whole time I have been going through this awakening.  It goes to show that when the books say that kundalini clears you from root to crown, I can say emphatically that kundalini follows the path of least resistance and does not go according to any pattern from one chakra to the next.  The tendency may be to do that, yes, but in truth, if something is stuck it remains that way until your ego lets go of it. NO one can undo what the ego creates as a reality for itself.  This week I went in for a second treatment and I wound up with the whole room of therapists working on me.  It was very illuminating for a variety of reasons.  I was asked if I had been psychically attacked, for example, and I realized later that in a way I had, and that a pain that I have felt in one of my meridians was part of this.  The attack though came from a living person and how the wound presented itself in terms of where and how it felt was consistent with the issues that were at work.  Being able to develop a stronger sense of psychic protection is important, yes, but by grace and being what we want to attract, we can transmute the old into something more conscious and aware.  This time I found that I reached a very subtle but important realization.

It had to do with the root and also the sacral. I began to have these images projected into my head that didn’t make sense right away but soon did.  I saw an image of iron and how it is forged.  I wondered over that until the information cam in a steady stream.  It began as I awoke this morning.  The epiphany began then.

As I awoke in bed this morning I felt the presence of a concept floating all around me.  It was an image of identity.  We make ourselves into who we want to be in our lives.  While our personalities define a lot of how we become, we also have a great deal more control over what we become than we realize.  Deep down, we know who we want to become.  We also know we are not being true to to who we want to be because….well….we feel it so strongly.  And yet we will ignore it….most often at our peril. But from life to life, even though we are part of a larger soul, it is amazing to see just how different we are from one life to the next.  Some lives are similar but having known a person who died and was reincarnated all in the same life I am living, I can say that people really do change a great deal.  The person that was my father is a very different person in his new reincarnation.  Some issues are still very much the same.  It is oddly fascinating to see how he struggles with the same issue of being brainwashed by a mother played by two different women but who do the same things to him.  This, he has attracted. This, he is working through as part of his karmic journey.  But in this image is showed me how we can shape ourselves in different ways if we but have the will to do so.  Destiny is not what we are born with, it is what we are.  If we change what we are, we can change destiny.  And it is not as hard as it might seem. It takes work I think, but it is entirely doable.  Destiny is the sum total of your choices made up to this point. This hardens into your character and is also part of your personality.  Maybe you think I am talking about changing habits here.  I am not.  the way to change is through the root.  It takes work and incredible persistence. I have reached this place realizing that I am down to the last of the hard stuff.  What shall I do now? Where will I go from here?

The Voice began by explaining that the problem I have had with my root had to do with my thinking I had a problem.  There were some lingering issues having to do with personal power, of taking full responsibility for my life and also for a fear that I allowed into my field that kind of became a kind of dog of my soul.  I had actually seen a glimpse of this presence that was attracted to these less than admirable feelings and it helped me to realize what it was that was serving to reinforce the energy that was there.  It was akin to a dragon in form….it was itself an etheric being attracted like moths are to flame or a porch light.  It is a natural consequence of where we are.  While ridding ourselves of shadow, we attract these beings who are etheric and escape most people’s notice.  I have known people who have awakened and were entirely powerless to rid themselves of these beings simply because they were not ready to heal that part of themselves.  You can push these creatures off and out of your field, but the problem will very likely come back unless the underlying issue is resolved and you change the energy.  People talk about psychic defense and I have to laugh because while pushing things away they just have them come back because nothing substantive has changed. The light body is your vehicle.  You attracted based on what you put out.  Every time all the time. These beings are not big problems most often.  They are just along for the ride.  They are easy to get rid of.  Most people have multiples of them.  So by shifting the perception of the problem, I was able to see all of this differently.  I already do.  With it comes a sense of restlessness, of wanting to move forward now after a period of near-stasis in a cocoon healing and transforming rapidly.

Then someone stepped into my field as matter-of-factly as a doctor asks you to turn your head and cough.  My root, which had been hurting, was held in the hands by this presence who was now talking to me about all of this.  “You think about how in the root there is sexual energy…..but you also think about how this energy is universal energy….but you have not been able to feel it as that because of the issues in your root.  This has blinded you to the larger role that your root plays for your life.  Right now it has tended to play a very limited role because you have seen it as sexual energy and because of the pain stored there, it has been hard to see it beyond the bliss side of its experience.”  The voice stopped and I then felt a very different feeling in my root. “The root, your root, is like a magnet.”  I felt this force radiate around the root….and it did feel very magnetic. “Imagine all the ways that your root chakra has felt up until this time.  The pain that you have felt in the root that has caused so much trouble for you…..all of that when healed will result in your being able to realize that the root really is a powerful basis for all of your energy.  It is how you forge your will, how you choose to feel and to be.”  The root was beaming and I could feel these bands of force coming off of it.  “Imagine what you could do with this…..once free from what you feel is holding you down.”  Instead of being strongly sexual in nature, it became a number of different things.  I felt like somehow someone was stepping in and showing me how differently this center could feel.  I was also being shown a tutorial on how the root can be used to assist in manifesting. I began in those moments seize the day and begin by focusing my intent in ways I knew I needed most.

“This is where the work comes in, but nby now after everything that you have done, you are ready to do this work.  This is like forging iron.  You will do it gently and carefully piece by piece until you get the results in character that you feel suit you.”  I saw how the root was the foundation of so much.  In an interesting way, the root is tied into identity and to our will.  I had always felt my will as being centered in my solar plexus, but now I realize identity is scattered throughout every center but the foundation lies in the root. Maybe it is possible to make sudden jumps in healing and change.  I have certainly witnessed them in myself over these years, but this last step now feels like I am taking a piece of clay and spending time to shape it.  Its hard to explain it any other way.  I have conformed to others for the sake of love for acceptance.  Now, I am not interested in that and while some part of me may linger on that last note, I am taking up the iron and the anvil to shape in the fire a new form.  Made of the same metal, but made into a new sense of self in some ways. And perhaps for the first time, a center of energy that is now no longer hung up by the old hurts and blocks that have limited the expression of the divine infinite in my body.

All of this is helping to return old feelings that were of an energetic nature.  My core self is undergoing a change.  I will remain who I am but there is some stuff that is being changed.  I have no idea how it will turn out.  We will just see.  Like a painting with few plans, it will unfold in perfect timing.  And if this be a conceit of the ego, then so be it.  A lovely conceit it will be. But if not, then there will be something of heaven in it. This is leading somewhere….

Having a healthy root is important for being able to have an energy center that can help us feel healthy and to manifest what it is that we need without the glitches that come as a result of karmic entanglements.  This idea that you must be careful what you wish for goes away when you clear karma. Karma is the color in the chakra that changes how the energy expresses itself. We return to clear brilliant spring water……

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