05709-sun_and_earthI ask you, where is the love you seek?  Is it something that you seek in the world?  Are you on a journey to find this perfect love?  It is a curious thing to find that as long as one seeks, what one finds is itself a mirror of all of their own currently realized potentials, hopes and dreams.  We look out on the world and say we cannot find this perfect love, that it seems to always come up short, or it has remained elusive.  Somehow, in loving, we wind up feeling dissatisfied somehow.  In loving, we find we are less than able to find that deepest of places we know surely exists within us, which is the power to feel incredible ecstasy, remarkable presence that is magical that transports us to what we know inside of us is true.  Because we create our own reality, what we see outwardly is a reflection of what we are inside of us.  If we hope for love but wind up coming up short, we need only look deeper within for the cause.  When we cease looking for love outwardly and seek to love ourselves perfectly, this naturally leads to healing all of the places within that keeps us from knowing this love all around us because what the world is, is a mirror of us, even though this might seem impossible.  We must  find love to be perfect within us before we can find love perfectly from without.  Being able to realize this means doing the work of removing the competing memes and signals that exist like small subroutines in our subconscious that play throughout our day whether we are aware of it or not.  It seems I had grown accustomed to a near-constant barrage of negative thoughts for years.  I had simply grown used to it, and numbed by it.  When I awoke, this numbing down began to reverse itself so that I could feel what I had denied for so long.  While hard, it was also itself a life-saver.  Awareness is huge in learning how to heal.

I have been witness to the undoing of a vast array of possibilities and outcomes, often stopped dead in their tracks by a shifting inner world, not a shifting outer world.  As I changed, the world around me changed, and it would happen the moment that something in me shifted, healed, or was let go.  All of these little feelings that we have like “I so want to be loved, but deep down, I feel like I am somehow not worthy of it’ is just the cocktail of ingredients that leaves a person locked in a search for love but never finding it.  How can you know this love if you yourself do not first feel it within?  And what might happen, do you think, when we stopped seeking to be filled by things outside of ourselves and begin filling ourselves on our own, of seeing that we already ARE love, that we can at any time become this love by doing one thing; letting go of the fear that we carry inside of us.

The only thing that EVER scattered love was fear. We have all kinds of fear, but it all resolves back into one common source.  The journey to love is a journey within first.  Curiously, as we do this, we find the very kind of love outside that we find inside.  If that love is limited through fear, or shot down out of the sky by feelings of lack of worth, well it just so happens that this love actually also gets shot down in our lives at some point or another. Maybe we feel we do deserve love but fear more inwardly that all love ends and will go away eventually,  and allow ourselves to feel it for a time but wait, secretly, for the day when that love goes away, and so in our lives, we watch as love dies and goes away, which is itself a perfect script to the one playing out inside of us in terms of our own hidden expectations. The anxiety that things will somehow be less than perfect can lead us to meeting people who will dutifully play this scenario out with us.  It isn’t that we somehow MAKE Them be anything else than what they are, no, we simply attract those elements within a person, or even event, that matches the lack or fear within us. But in just the same way that we can fear, we can also choose to release this fear.  As we do, events begin to change.  We then begin to live a life that is not cloaked in fear ( we are bolstered by each and every release of fear so that it becomes easier to release more of the remaining material…a real plus!).   When I saw all of this in action in my life I was amazed to see how we have an ability for choosing certain people over others who will, perhaps years in the future, do exactly what we fear they will do.  And yet, all of this can be reversed and played the other way!  Just as we might play the music of our lives in discord, we can also choose to play it in harmony.  It all winds up coming down to a choice, but a choice we are not aware of making in the moment as we attract what we are inside.

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So ask yourself how you can live abundantly, how your own thoughts sabotage you, and offer you up something less than what you wish for in your heart.  Consider thinking of love as something that is like a wellspring within you, a bubbling stream that flows with abundance instead of one that gets choked off through fear.  Consider that you come to life through being full instead of empty and seeking to be filled by people and things, and when you do this, you attract those things that will always, themselves, be naturally abundant.

Doing this means digging down inside of yourself and being emotionally honest.  For as much as some will say that emotion is the downfall of so many, emotion is merely the fuel for propelling you through your life.  Emotion is the cosmic propellant and if you put fear behind it, then the journey will be fearful.  If you put love behind it, it will be one of love.  Emotion is the means by which we propel  our thoughts onto the canvas of reality.  So often our emotions reflect fear and pain and worry instead of courage, joy, and love. The world is your canvass, and you are the one who paints upon it. Will  it be dark or light colors?  Once you have enough experiences with clearing old emotional blocks, you can begin to see a gradual change in how your life unfolds.  If you can get into the bigger blocks and root them out, you will see bigger changes.  It is true that some, many, blocks are small ones and we are littered with them, and that the changes in the world around us will happen in a proportional way, so it takes the very force of love within us to keep us moving.  Perhaps this is where a little faith can take you a long way.

This is not always an easy path because of the sheer accumulation of material we carry, but the truth is, you got into it, you can also get out.  I am doing this very thing, and while in some ways I sometimes wish I could have a more normal life, I also know that this life is itself pretty special.  Something in me says “You must have known you would be up for the job or else you would not be here doing this great work of your soul…”  Something inside of me must know that this life becomes the great pivot point for changing the outcome of countless other lives and realities.  Shored up by this sense, I go forward puzzle piece by puzzle piece as the scene of my being is set right.  When I first began this process seven years ago, the scene I was shown was that of a congested warehouse full of material, an “inventory” of items that was to be my work to clear out of my being.

All of the material I have removed has been all of the material that serves to compete with anything that is less than love.  At first it felt daunting to know so much existed to clear away, but now as I look back into it, things are different. There is more room to feel one thing and one thing only; love.  And the more I am able to clear those old voices of fear and worry away, there is less and less in my inner space that is anything less than love.  I am here to tell you its a process, and no I am not completely finished.  Are we ever?  It’s hard for me to really answer that, but my sense is that all of this results in greater and greater awareness of something about ourselves that the clearing away of old material helps to provide a clearer view.  Since every release has been an epiphany moment, I know that this is likely how it will always be; a  continuous resolving of awareness about what I am, how I am, and the love that exists within me just waiting to express itself.

As each competing meme or fear or small piece of pre-programmed negative material is cleared out of my light body and awareness, I find that I am increasingly more aware of a central force in all of life that is what we can align to. Some might want to call this the divine, or God, or any number of things.  While it could certainly seem to be that, I am less able to discern exactly what it is.  Maybe it is an aspect of my higher self, perhaps it is an aspect of ALL life and all being. What I do know is that I can feel my being seeking to be in closer and closer union with this force and that this one feeling is itself the central form of yoga I practice.  I do not do it through postures or methods, I simply do it through feeling since it seems to me that it is out of feeling that so many things emerge and flow.  The feeling of this central force is guiding and supportive and loving. By remaining aligned to it, my life improves.  I continue moving forward, not always knowing what is next, but anxious to know what waits for me.

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Currently, there is a larger current in the world where the Collective Awareness or Self of human kind is waking up to itself.  As more people begin to see or sense this connection, they are naturally brought to the realization of how everything is connected both inwardly and outwardly.  The realization comes that all of what we see is because of something much larger than all of us, but is part of a life that can sweep us all up and raise us all up if we do one thing; choose love over fear. As more people join this current of awareness, the stronger that it gets.  It is part of a brilliant form of intelligence and is itself connected to still larger forms of awareness.  Knowing one can lead to knowing All.  It is an inner crystalline or energetic matrix that is the very web of life in the same way that your own body is crisscrossed by invisible lines of force that make up what is called your light body.  This is the force that binds all things together, and while that may make me sound like I am slipping into a Star Wars movie character, truth is truth.  This event is remarkable and can be pushed forward by each person simply waking up to a bigger picture.  At no time in earths history (and if not the first, it has been a very long time since) has there been a better time for waking up in this way.  But waking up to what?  It really is very simple; we are waking up to love as a powerful force that can carry us and strengthen us.  It is, after all, what we are in our truest sense, and is one that you get to choose!

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