All through my life I have made a careful observation that as my own capacity to hold onto larger and larger amounts of energy, my own awareness would clarify and seem rejuvenated.  I knew the secret lay in how to move more energy through us, this vital force.  I didn’t know it then, but I was effectively seeking awakening. The thing about awakening, though, is that it can be a bit like what happens when you let go of the brakes on a car that you have been keeping them on for so long.  There is this lurch forward of this force, this vital force in you that wants to be FREE!  And so you get these rather scary or upsetting awakening experiences sometimes that can make a person feel like they are suddenly out of control.

All of this is about an emergence of our own inner energetic potential.  This potential makes it more possible for us to vault ourselves into other parts of who and what we are, in effect, to broaden our awareness through energy.  But what happens when an emergence of energy becomes a flood of energy, which feels less like emergence and more like emergency?

The thing to realize in awakening is that when things turn bad, it really is all about you.  You have complete control over the quality of your awakening experience, and you will know how easy it can become when you learn to do one thing; surrender.  Then let go.  Not just conditionally or part way; let go.  Then let go more.  I promise that relief lies in letting go.  Ego represents a big hurdle for this energy, so it must step out of the way.  I am not a neurologist but what I observe is that the same part of brain function that is involved in left brained and rational thought is very closely aligned with ego.  It may be that significant parts of how we identify between objects and things in our world is processed through the left brain portions of our left hemisphere.  But by identifying overtly with object-based reality, we also lose sight of the deeper aspect of reality, which does not lies at its surface.  Ergo; high ego function, low ability to really grasp the breadth of the experience and process the energy properly whjch always leads to issues related to tension, anxiety, and fear (and this is the substance of spiritual emergencies or kundalini syndrome and other terms like that).  Once you are able to let go of the need to identify so strictly in an object based way (which also includes “I” and “me” and other such objects of a highly specific and individual nature).  In some cases the energy can and does barge right over ego and the rest of the self.  This can throw people into state of anxiety and fear.  Again, all of this is as you make it.

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and own your experience.  When you feel fear, realize it is YOUR fear and you are here to conquer it so that you can live life without fear.  A little energy in you is creating fear; what do you think the rest of life is going to do to you?  Master the disaster.  The only disaster is the one you have created in your own mind.  Fear is the greatest enemy.  Conquer it.  I think learning how to cope with this experience is unlike any other means of coping.  I do think that there really isn’t anything on the planet that prepares us for this type of experience when it comes.  However, I think that an ability to meditate might be good, although the weird thing was that I found the way my brain states changed, I felt like I was in a near-constant state of meditation all the time….so I am not so sure saying mediation is the answer.  Letting go is the answer, and sometimes, doing this, it can feel like death.  However, learning how to die in this way is the way through I think.  It leads to conquering death, which, paradoxically, is something spoken about in the old esoteric circles having to do with alchemy and a other mystical things.  Its not that we don’t die, it is that we reach a place where fear does not rule us like it once did.  We can also begin glimpsing over and over until we get the memo that this is not all that there is.  This something more, its right here with us like an invisible friend reminding us until we get it and the fear washes slowly or suddenly away.

So having said all that, I will be good and include a resource for you that might be of some help.  Go to SEN and I hope it provides you with food for thought.

This is the first important step in awakening which can determine whether you live in fear or you learn to be fearless.  When you have conquered your backlog of fear, awakening will turn from dark to brilliant.  Life is as you see it!  If you bring love and compassion, you will feel this.  Bring fear, and that is what you have.  Open your hand, say yes to life, don’t close your hand or your heart to life.  Here’s hoping for wonderful experiences for you in your life!

Good luck on your path, where ever it takes you!

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