All through my life I have made a careful observation that as my own capacity to hold onto larger and larger amounts of energy, my own awareness would clarify and seem rejuvenated. I knew the secret lay in how to move more energy through us, this vital force. I didn’t know it then, but I was effectively seeking awakening. The thing about awakening, though, is that it can be a bit like what happens when you let go of the brakes on a car that you have been keeping them on for so long. There is this lurch forward of this force, this vital force in you that wants to be FREE! And so you get these rather scary or upsetting awakening experiences sometimes that can make a person feel like they are suddenly out of control.
All of this is about an emergence of our own inner energetic potential. This potential makes it more possible for us to vault ourselves into other parts of who and what we are, in effect, to broaden our awareness through energy. But what happens when an emergence of energy becomes a flood of energy, which feels less like emergence and more like emergency?
The thing to realize in awakening is that when things turn bad, it really is all about you. You have complete control over the quality of your awakening experience, and you will know how easy it can become when you learn to do one thing; surrender. Then let go. Not just conditionally or part way; let go. Then let go more. I promise that relief lies in letting go. Ego represents a big hurdle for this energy, so it must step out of the way. I am not a neurologist but what I observe is that the same part of brain function that is involved in left brained and rational thought is very closely aligned with ego. It may be that significant parts of how we identify between objects and things in our world is processed through the left brain portions of our left hemisphere. But by identifying overtly with object-based reality, we also lose sight of the deeper aspect of reality, which does not lies at its surface. Ergo; high ego function, low ability to really grasp the breadth of the experience and process the energy properly whjch always leads to issues related to tension, anxiety, and fear (and this is the substance of spiritual emergencies or kundalini syndrome and other terms like that). Once you are able to let go of the need to identify so strictly in an object based way (which also includes “I” and “me” and other such objects of a highly specific and individual nature). In some cases the energy can and does barge right over ego and the rest of the self. This can throw people into state of anxiety and fear. Again, all of this is as you make it.
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and own your experience. When you feel fear, realize it is YOUR fear and you are here to conquer it so that you can live life without fear. A little energy in you is creating fear; what do you think the rest of life is going to do to you? Master the disaster. The only disaster is the one you have created in your own mind. Fear is the greatest enemy. Conquer it. I think learning how to cope with this experience is unlike any other means of coping. I do think that there really isn’t anything on the planet that prepares us for this type of experience when it comes. However, I think that an ability to meditate might be good, although the weird thing was that I found the way my brain states changed, I felt like I was in a near-constant state of meditation all the time….so I am not so sure saying mediation is the answer. Letting go is the answer, and sometimes, doing this, it can feel like death. However, learning how to die in this way is the way through I think. It leads to conquering death, which, paradoxically, is something spoken about in the old esoteric circles having to do with alchemy and a other mystical things. Its not that we don’t die, it is that we reach a place where fear does not rule us like it once did. We can also begin glimpsing over and over until we get the memo that this is not all that there is. This something more, its right here with us like an invisible friend reminding us until we get it and the fear washes slowly or suddenly away.
So having said all that, I will be good and include a resource for you that might be of some help. Go to SEN and I hope it provides you with food for thought.
This is the first important step in awakening which can determine whether you live in fear or you learn to be fearless. When you have conquered your backlog of fear, awakening will turn from dark to brilliant. Life is as you see it! If you bring love and compassion, you will feel this. Bring fear, and that is what you have. Open your hand, say yes to life, don’t close your hand or your heart to life. Here’s hoping for wonderful experiences for you in your life!
Good luck on your path, where ever it takes you!
Waking The Infinite 
Yes, I am reminded of childbirth, when the ‘letting go’ consisted of letting my body work as hard as the force of the contraction. When these balanced, there was no pain! When they didn’t – chaos.
Pain and fear are the personal obstacle, which is essential first to acknowledge.
Also reminded of when I took LSD a couple of times in the 1970s. As it took hold, there was an initial tension or apprehension – the ego-personl boundaries which lead to potential nightmare. When I relaxed, the smile came, and the deep, and a “trip” which was extraordinarily profound and rich in the Self now … too rich in presence for hallucination (which was minimal).
Also, my awakening emergence(y) in the 1980s. Like the childbirth I worked really hard with it because I am made that way. I made a yoga of difficult piano music. I wrote like a lune. I did hundreds and hundreds of drawings. There was fear, and there was surfing the wave; I was on my own, but with my inner advisors. Gradually over the years, the river broadened out, and became “alluvial”.
Right now, I feel we serve the Force which awakens us.
Learning how to work with these forces instead of against them; what a gift. That I was thinking about the womb, both physical and energetic as a repository for all kinds of creative energy, your comment feels so timely. I think the LSD trip is so similar….and how they turn out is, I sense, how we choose to be or feel. When we let go, surrender, we seem to signal to ourselves and our larger body, the universe, that we trust and that everything is going to be okay. And it is.
As I watched my batch of kombucha brewing this morning I thought about how synergistic the ingredients in it all are. It is easy to see how the yeast feeds from the sugar and also gets some nutrients from the mushroom…..but the mushroom also gets some nutrients it would not otherwise get were the yeast not there (like B complexes). So I think you are right; we serve this. It is this great limitless supply of inspiration and being and life……and yet, I sense that “it” is this highly evolved sense of awareness that is now living as life force…..and I get this slip of a sense within it that it too evolved that it too arose to this level of awareness and being…..and so I feel it like I feel a future self doubling back into its ancient self to retrace an old line, like a time traveler so that it might plough again anew so as to bear greater growth so that all lines of time and possibility send these ripples out to its own present focus….its a bit like trying to look into a bright light where things are not so clear but my heart says this must be so because I have done it before in dream going forward and back in time….and it has had an effect that must be like what this force feels and gains by visiting me in such ancient surroundings…..See, the thing is…..I don’t ever want to really figure all of this out because I really do love being with it, and not having it all figured suggests to me that there is so much more to do, to know, to grasp and to discover. There is such a sense of devotion when I can reach into that place where its just me and it. When that happens I say “I want to be just like you” and its like a child who is aware I just said that but makes nothing of it and just keeps right on playing. Maybe I will ask it where it comes from and why it is here beyond just clearing me….what does “it” get out of it?