Archives for the month of: September, 2013

To heal a life it can be instructive to understand how suffering was first created….not to relive it, no, but to understand the underlying impulses that led to the trouble to begin with.

Humans universally push down hurtful material that they do not feel the capacity or ability to deal with in the moment. By doing this, the trauma or hurt gets shoved down, so deep that it can be in the subconscious regions where the material still echos through the self but the waking aware self is utterly puzzled over where the trouble is coming from.  And if the self DOES know the source, knowing how to heal it seems, often, a mystery.  Even small things can get hung up within the light body.  I have dealt with scores and scores of little things so inconsequential, yet present, that I could not even begin to know exactly where they cropped up, only that they slipped quietly away only to be replaced with a sharper sense of focus, knowing, and love.  Even the slight slights leave their mark.  But we can erase them.

The way we have shoved material down requires that we remove it the opposite from the act of its submersion.  From experience I can say absolutely that the things that were seemingly inconsequential leave quickly and from the “surface” of awareness.  The harder material has remained longer, seems more central and deeply set within.  Some people struggle with these things for a lifetime trying to get down to the depth of where they rest.   If they got shoved down deep, you have to go deep.  Feel deep.  Forgive deep.  Love deep.  More completely.

To seek to reveal pent up emotion by denying it in anyway wont work. This is itself a form of denying emotion with was the problem to begin with. No, to remove material in a conscious way requires you to feel it as deeply as it has been shoved down.  I think you will agree that some of our junk has been shoved way deep.  Deep into the etheric sheaths, deep into the psyche.  Deep into the self.  Deep.  So it means to get it out means being completely honest.  Honest with your feelings, even if they make NO sense, freak you out, scare you, or make you feel shame.  Often it is the very presence of shame that has created a lot of the trouble in us from the beginning.  Shame begets repression and repression begets madness.


To feel the depths of divine love, grace, and forgiveness means being willing to love all our broken parts with acceptance, all the way down, no holding back, no holds barred.  When you do this, you actually provide a pathway for your awareness to travel deep inside the nether regions of your own spiritual madness, your own hurt, your anger, rage, and all the rest.  Somehow, this direct honest is the perfect eraser for past dysfunction and fracture.

Lets say that you feel shame for being attracted to something or someone….and as long as you feel shame about that, you remain connected to it.  Maybe it is a behavior, a thought, a philosophy, a way of thinking, or a person.  Hold back, and it keeps its hooks in you.  You have just made your work harder.


Maybe you aren’t ready, or maybe you just aren’t sure.  Ultimately, you alone will have to find how this works for the heart and soul.  But in the end, letting go is letting go.  Denial is not letting go.  For as deep as we have shoved all our stuff and denied it, we usually need the same in reverse, which is awareness, and acceptance, and forgiveness of self.  Not just saying you forgive. Feeling it. Being it. And then you become something else (kind of).  You are returned, one step closer, to your essential self. When you are ready, you are ready.  IN that time, there are no more bargains, no glossing or hiding or guessing. You will know.

Feel it or don’t feel it.  Its up to you.  If its in you and you do not wish to feel it, it will for the time being, remain. But when you are ready, letting go, surrender, is unconditional.

flameIn my awakening,  I observed that after I had removed a good deal of material from my light body, things that are old blocks or unresolved emotional issues, I found that the energy which had gone from root to crown was going other places, was starting back at the root or near it only to go back up again. I wondered – what gives?  What little I DID read from the eastern information about kundalini all said the energy rises from root to crown and once there you have had the system swept clean.

Well hang on a moment. Not really. For me, it went up down and all around.  What is up with that?

If you know about awakenings and how entirely miraculous events wind up being, then you can very likely guess how easy it was for me to ask that question in my mind only to get an answer in short order without even going looking for it.  It is how these things go.

What I discovered was the concept in the Hindu tradition of something called the Light Body or the energy body, which was described as having etheric sheaths. It is called the Pranamayakosha  and was mentioned in the previous post.  This body is made up of five layers of nonphysical material and one layer of physical matter (which is the physical body).  These layers  are like layers of an onion. Nested into one another.  This explained a lot about what I was experiencing!  Being able to be present but not standing in the way of this energy and what it is doing has been the hallmark of my work in many ways. I might try to focus on some problem areas and I might congratulate myself on my progress, the truth is that an agency more than I was doing this. And good thing, too, because what comes after these clearings has been extremely helpful to me.  The notion or idea that the guru is inside of you has been literally true for me as there is a self that exists here that is me but seems to have a life beyond just this one focus.  Call it a cosmic parent, a higher self. from it, I can actually learn how to be, to grow, to become.  This is helpful to know how to be when there may not be good mentors available.

Learning to trust this force alive in you, which is you and is the universe, will go a long way in bringing you peace and contentment.  You are in good hands. That kind of perspective is very good to feel wrapped all around you. Now, the universe is free to conspire to help you the most and in the best of ways.

Not long ago I was talking to someone who refers to me as her teacher about the process of letting go, of releasing old stored material in the light body, and of releasing energetic bonds to other people that are karmic in nature.  Curiously, a post popped up on this topic by this “student” in a search I did on kundalini here and it contained most of the material we had talked about as a way of releasing old material from the self. However, it had material we had not discussed and it was this added material that can actually cause more problems than it solves.

We very much love to have methods and techniques, but in truth, these methods are merely a way to guide feeling.  If you aren’t in touch with your feelings, you wont be doing the work. If you don’t understand WHY a given method is seeking to make you feel, then its possible that you wont feel what you need to feel. Period. The more alienated you are from your true self, your essential self (soul), the harder it is to do substantive work.  So, in this very simple way, learning how to FEEL is important. Techniques ONLY work if they succeed in helping you to FEEL in the right direction. That is really all any method achieves, no matter how much you might think that it does something else.  It is all about feeling, about tapping the light body so you can affect the change from the inside out.  Even mudras and kriyas, for example, which help to move energy, only go so far if they fail to assist you in reaching a given feeling.  It is true that the language of the cosmos is feeling. Mind is in there, but only as a tool for the much more vast feeling side of everything.

In awakening there is the issue of soul connections.  Some call these twin souls and rays and all the rest.  These drive powerful energy but they also can drive very strong energy that is less resolved and healed in people. I myself have observed some pretty crazy behavior in myself as well as others and can say that the value of reducing the blocks and karmic snares is that it helps to bring peace and awareness of who and what we are…..which is why we are here.  That, and to enjoy the view.

I am not going to teach you how to fish, I am going to teach you the essence of all fishing which means that under any and all circumstances, you will be able to catch a fish, even if you do not have a net or fishing pole.  You will be able to do so because you understand the root causes and essence behind the world of fish themselves. If this sounds good to you, maybe I have hooked you and can show you the substance behind the appearance.

The light body, which is the energetic matrix that makes up your nadis (energetic channels which are pronounced “nardees”) and chakras (vortices of energy), stores or contains everything that has happened to you.  While the brain may be seen as the memory banks of your self, the light body ( the Pranamayakosha in Hindu) actually stores the energetic potential of all emotional issues that have happened to you in your life as well as previous lives (this is the “physical evidence for and physical evidence of karma).  Anything that remains unresolved in you, for whatever reason, expresses itself as something we call a block.  This is an emotional hurdle we feel with something.  We actually attract people and events in our lives based on these blocks (and we also attract based on what is also NOT blocked too!) Because we are unable to see its fullest truth or reality, we most often ignore it or “shove it down” out of the way.  It remains, however, until the day that we deal with the issue. It also creates problems with our ability to manifest or attract the kind of life we say that we want.  As long as you remain divided within, however, you continue to attract based on a host of issues within you, one of which are the unresolved blocks. This is why you can WANT something but still not get it because you are not entirely resolved within yourself. You simply need to move the block and the energy will flow in the right way instead of manifesting the wrong things over and over.  Your energy body will then be a more perfect mirror of your thoughts wants and wishes!  Blocks create tension in the Pranamayakosha or light body, and then often express as distorted forms of the true self.  When focused in the root chakra, for example, it will result in distorted perception (we see people are sexual threats or feeding on us or wanting something from us that they may in truth not really want—we see it because we are projecting it and believe what we see).  It also results in very raw sexual energy instead of more refined experiences of the energy. It is because deep down we are holding on to something that is not true and this affects the pure energy that would otherwise be flowing through us (we are bending it or distorting it with our blocks—be a pure channel!).  To know the truth of what we are requires us to bring awareness into this knot or block of misunderstanding.  Here you will find the greatest of compassion, for this is sacred work.  Forget what you think you know and allow yourself to simply feel.  To do this, you MUST be simple. Jesus, who was himself awakened said you needed to be like a child.  And indeed you do.  This is not complicated.  Be like a child. Be simple.  You then will know the kingdom shining within yourself more clearly than ever before.

In awakening or in instances of powerful inner work, these blocks can be removed very quickly.  They can be removed by way of movement (massage work and Qi Gung) as well as by way of awareness and acceptance.  In the first case, you can have blocks removed by skilled body workers who know how to work body tissue and who can feel intuitively where these blocks are.  Most often this results in the person feeling or realizing sudden emotion which is then allowed to be released by feeling it fully.  There is another method, the one that I was describing to my “student” that goes hand in glove with all of this.  This method involves your feeling into yourself in a full way without pulling back from any emotion that might become dislodged or rise to the surface. There is a reason for this. In the method the student was offering, the method suggested actually masking feeling instead of feeling it completely.  You have to feel it completely before you can feel differently.  It is a small thing, but an important one. It is part of complete emotional release.

The whole reason why we have these blocks to begin with is because of how we have ignored and repressed emotions that have needed to be worked through. The key to all of this work is one simple thing and its awareness. If you can shine the light of awareness you WILL get it, you WILL resolve the issues.  Yes, you have material that is shoved down so deep that even you feel like you can’t get to it, but trust me on this one thing; simply putting your awareness and intent on a great mystery inside of you will eventually resolve the mystery.  The reason why this is so is because when you look at something, when you are shining your awareness into it, there is something much more than you which is aware  that is looking at what you think you see!  The Divine is looking out through you and sees all that you see, and furthermore, is a part of what you and I and everything else is!  The infinite is literally looking out through your eyes as you observe and it is this awareness (which you aren’t aware of!) which is what does the great work.  In fact, if you can trust me on this one seemingly impossible little admission, you can do remarkable things with your own spiritual work.  The only thing you have to do is to realize it and then give it a little space in your being to be.

This method works if you can be entirely honest and allow yourself to feel as deep into an old emotion as possible.  You really have to be honest here and just let yourself get down into it.  If you feel it half heartedly this will have the same effect as trimming weeds but not digging them up.  They will come back at a later date and perhaps even stronger.  Remember, the idea here is to not repress or deny your feelings.  Once you have done the release work you can then feel differently about a person you were connected to because what is in you has changed.  The wonderful thing that is a bonus is that you can actually make it easier for others who were connected to you in this common block to also heal.  It is a win-win.

This is the essence of the practice.  There are a number of ways to create the practice out of knowing how to feel.  One way is to use breath.  Another way is to use movement.  Another way is even more simpler and it involves another person bringing their own awareness to the issue (when you wont or can’t). This is the substance of yet another post, however.

All of this, at its very core, is about becoming more aware.  Aware that you are not powerless, aware that you can be anything you want to be, aware that you are part of the divine and no matter what happens, that will never change.  When you become aware or realize more fully who and what you are, your problems will cease to be and your opportunities will multiply.  Cross my heart.

I am going to tell you right off that I am not going to be telling you a story full of gore and of sea monsters stirring the depths and seven seals being opened and no blood being spilled or guts gushing all over the big computer screen.


But we just have to quit with this end times stuff, okay?  Just quit.  No more for you.  Your quota on gore is done.  Now sit quietly and let me tell you something that your soul needs badly to hear.

The times are coming to an end. They are.  I can promise you this with absolute certainty but you might need a little perspective on this right now because I see the world getting all worked up about it.  The world will not end.  It wont.  These “endings” are kind of tricky for people.  We get worked up and its a lot about nothing, really.  The idea of end times is that the times of the old regime are ending.  In my last entry I wrote about an experience I had about the Wheel Coming Full Turn.  The wheel is itself a giant cycle within the collective being of humankind.  At this level we actually do decide some basic directions we as a race want to go in.  These are overall directions.  Not everyone will necessarily have to go lock-step.  Its just that the race as a whole is doing some things at a higher level.  The human race as a whole actually acts like a giant organism, which of course it is.  Many cells that make  up this body.  Our earth is itself like a cell in a far more vast body. A speck amongst a vast sea of specks. So for us the times are coming to an end.  The whole paternalism thing, that is rapidly going away now.  Its actually been happening for a while. It isn’t like its one day or in a flash or any of that.  You aren’t going to wake up tomorrow and find that you missed the bus or the boat or the train or any of that.  You are a being whose soul will never die, it just wont.  How silly it is to put deadlines onto things.

Don’t get me wrong, deadlines are great if you are having a sale or you want to organize a group of people, but when it comes to the great multidimensionality of the self and soul, why, it hardly even makes any sense at all!  Its great for meeting at the deli to have a sandwich, but it loses its importance when staring down the barrel of infinity.  Even someone who has awakened normally has the stunning realization of how time itself is a bit of an illusion and that each life is more like a bead of wire wound tightly (which has a beginning and an end to it) around a much larger necklace where time is expanding more than it is merely a linear progression (even though this is one way it can be experienced!).  Its just that there is far more to time, you see, than meets the eye.  the post I did recently about Dreams….and my seeing the future should be enough to make you rethink the linearity of time.  I know it has for me.  I mean, if I can see that clearly into the future even several weeks in advance, then time itself as we understand it just is at the very least a little off.  Well, okay, maybe more than a little…

The end times are indeed the end of A TIME, but it is not the end of ALL time. While some will say my words are irresponsible and nutty and fly in the face of traditional dogma, I ask you what makes you so sure that people had what is happening now two thousand years later entirely perfectly correct?  We here who are awakening to this new world are those who are here to help.  We do not need bloodshed in order to realize peace on earth.  We do not need to have a terrible tribulation, although I have to admit, the times sure are crazy (Obama is trying to go to war with Syria, are you kidding me???), but its not the end of ALL of it.  Its an important shift.  It really is, and you have the opportunity to add to the tide of positive energy.  Your energy right now will make more difference  than at any time in history because of how all of this is going down.  To quote Kate Bush; “Just saying it could even make it happen.”

When I was eighteen I had a spontaneous memory of a past life as a native american man who was sitting having a vision of the Thunder Beings in the grassy meadows atop a hill in western California at a time when some of the first encounters with White Europeans were taking place.  The experience was extreme for me in that it was as though I had been placed into a culture completely foreign to me in some ways.  I felt familiar, yes, but it was hard to understand what was happening.  I was being told about the future, about a life when I would be reborn as a new person.  The being in the storm explained that I would know when all of these things would come to pass because I would remember the vision in this future life.  That future life is this life, now.  The being spoke of earth changes, about a need for the earth to cleans herself.  I was shown a form of cleansing enacted by the Thunder Bird, something that involved its merging with me in my body so that I became one with this bird.  The heavens or sky was connected to the earth by way of a thunderbolt. This merging of heaven and earth changed the energy of the earth.  The earth lit up with a supernaturally bright light; the light of the lightening bolt.  The earth was then cleansed.  I was told that the Great Wheel would come full turn in this day.  I had absolutely no idea what that meant.  I spent years reading up on native culture and customs and belief.  I found that I only discovered the tribe when I gave up looking.  I also found that the vision was itself a story about how, in our age, in OUR day, we would witness a fundamental shift in our world energetically and that we would see a return of the feminine in each of our lives.  This is itself the balance that the Hopi speak about, a balance that has been lost in the Western world, that has been systematically destroyed in the aboriginal cultures.  It may have been nearly wiped away, but it is not gone.  This ancient knowing and reverence for the Two-As-One remains.  And I am here to tell you, remind you, how important it is.

Its really simple, and yet, it has been forgotten and shoved under the rug for so long.

It is the return of the divine feminine.

The return of the divine feminine is something that will be on offer to all of us.  Her presence in each life, not just a woman’s life, will be potentially life changing.  Men are softening.  Women are noticing this.  Women are reclaiming their power, discovering their deep current of feminine energy and presence.  As we all do this, as we all soften and are changed by the presence of Her on the planet, we will continue to learn and see more through those eyes than ever before.  Not to worry; her presence does not make a man any less of a man. In fact, it makes a man far more sensitive to what a woman needs and how she feels.  Its just that as a collective, we are now ready for her after centuries and centuries of not having her all that present.  IN the warming days that face us, she will offer up new discoveries about what we are and what we can become.  She will have a humanizing effect upon us.  She already has.  We have a long way to go, but I tell you that this movement of the wheel is so strong that while you can resist, the most natural current will be to follow it.  It will be like fighting an undeniable current.  And she will teach you how to flow.

The presence of the divine feminine will teach you how to surrender, to allow, to receive, and to let go. She will be a presence whereby she can take any spiritual poison into her and transmute it through the power of her womb, through her natural ability to receive and treat all things in her own uniquely alchemical fashion.  For ages woman has often been forces to take poison into her womb and her heart, but the tables will turn and she will discover what she can do when she is in full possession of her powers individually an en masse.

The one experience with the divine feminine that I had most recently was how she moved down all around me and then said “let go.  Let all of it flow into me; this is what I am—a great engine of transmutation….just let go…” and in that moment, tears streaming down my face, I felt Her all around me, like this giant presence, a womb of the world and instead of holding on to this ancient poison in my soul, I let it go.  It streamed out of me and rippled out all through her.  It was as though it was nothing for her; snake bit turned to gnat bite.  I felt nothing but love.  Within my own heart I feel the dual current of kundalini and She resides within one of them.  She exists as the divine template, literally the feminine guru within.  I don’t need a teacher to tell me how she needs most to be, she dwells in me.  Touching another with Her in my touch reminds them without words of what they have been missing, craving.

She has been away for a very long time. She is gonna come back with a vengeance (but without vengeance).  How will it play out? What will it look like world wide? This, I cannot say.  But what I know is that it will help soften us.  What we do with it will be up to us.  Perhaps this is the universe’s way of planting a seed for us, amongst us.  Or it is us, yearning so much for this worldwide that She is returning.  The Mother of the World.  Certainly the Father as God has been locked up in that cloudy heaven for far too long!  I mean, who wouldn’t be an angry father god in a place like that!  Mother and Father deserve to be next to each other (I think it would be a lot more peaceful, too!).  So let’s give them some space in our own lives.  You have nothing to lose!

icebergThis idea of dreaming is near and dear to me.  It is near and dear to me because along with a spiritual journey since age nine, I have been fascinated with dreaming and what this very significant amount of time we spend each day is used for.  I have also been fascinated with dreaming because I have had what I consider to be quite fascinating events take place within my dreams and I am also brave enough to simply tell you what I have found and also what I think as part of a CONSIDERED opinion (which stands apart from an opinion that may not be based on significant evaluation of ones own dreaming).  I also like dreaming because its MINE. It is my own landscape, my own stuff. I get to go into the temple of my OWN dreaming and no one else’s.  I can explore and discover and learn.  I have spent years studying my own dreams, by the way, so I know a few things about it that are not in the mainstream and bear mentioning….

The thing I think that is so great about understanding dreams is that we each have the opportunity to be experts with our own dreamscapes.  Since we each dream, just as we live a life, we ourselves can learn a lot from our dreams. I did this by keeping a dream journal starting in high school until I was married, which was a period of approximately ten years.  We want, though, to wait on what others have had to say about dreams in order to understand them, but even the supposed experts haven’t been that great at coming up with a theory that works for how and why we dream.  Freud said dreams were unfulfilled wishes.  Excuse me, but my dreams have had healing elements, points of resolution, I have had what appear to be out of body experiences, and I have also had dreams that have clearly shown the future.  So if the supposed “experts” can be so off on all of this, it stands to reason that our own observations might well be a little more helpful in helping to progress our understanding of dreaming.  Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of fascinating information out there from REM being a way to nourish the cornea with oxygen, to dreams being an expression of unexpressed wishes and desires (thanks Sigmund). It is all sounds very nice, I just think it is woefully incomplete.

It’s probably a problem of clarity, though, why we have so much trouble being able to figure out what dreaming is….. for the simple reason, most likely, that WHY we dream is so broad that any one theory will have trouble containing it all in a neat tidy way that will make a scientist feel good about his or her work and reason for being. It is a bit like asking me what the purpose of LIFE is.  Do you have a few days to have a seat and talk about it?  really, I don’t think you can sum it up in a few sentences, and if you do, it will probably be so hopelessly simplified as to bear very little meaning.   So having said that, I am going to tell you a few things about my own experience in the same way that a tourist might come back and show you a few pictures of a trip, say, to Tuscany, or Greece, or Neptune, or somewhere near the Dog star….

One thing I can tell you is that dreams can be precognitive.  Not maybe, but certainly.  Not only that, but my dreams have not only been clearly precognitive, they have also shown a most interesting phenomenon that an old friend named Rodney called “periodicity” when I walked into my Wednesday night jam session and explained how I had uncovered something incredible about my precognitive dreams. What you should first know is that I have had these precognitive dreams my whole life and second that they have been very detailed so as to eliminate any guesswork over whether they were just a lucky guess or actually seeing “remotely” the events that would take place later.  What I had uncovered in my journal work was a very distinct pattern in my dreams that all showed precognitive elements.  This phenomenon showed that my precognitive dreams all took place on very specific days, and this was tied to the lunar cycle.  Now for some, this might sound a little crazy, but to a scientist, this suggests other forces at work.  What those are, I don’t know, but in the same way that the moon has an effect on tides, it apparently has an effect on seeing the future as well….and as a result may well help us to better understand HOW to bridge the gap between now and the future.  For those who aren’t sure what precognition is, it’s simply being able to anticipate future events. Now I know that for some, such a thing seem preposterous and flies in the face of everything we think we know about time and space.  Well, clearly, we don’t know everything there is to know about time and space or else I would not be going around having these dreams about the future!

But so you can appreciate what I am talking about, let me give you a few examples of my precognitive dreams.  When I was a pre-teen I dreamed that my neighbor was pregnant with twins and that these twins were born and had blonde hair.  The twins were a boy and a girl in the dream. Now the thing to realize is that the mom and dad were both very dark-haired people.  The father had this jet black hair without a hint of gray in it and the mother had chestnut colored hair.  At the time of the dream, there had been no talk about their having children.  They were without children at the time of the dream that I had.  In just a few months, I did find out that the mother was expecting and while I did not pay much heed to the dream, I found that she gave birth to twins who grew up to be blonde, both of them, which was itself a bit odd since there was so much dark hair in the family.  Skip forward in time to 1985 when I have a dream that I am floating above the earth and witness an explosion at a facility in Russia.  I hear the voice of a t.v. anchor narrating the events taking place. He says that there was an explosion over Russia that sent a plume of radioactive gasses into the atmosphere.  I watch as I see a white cloud rise and spread.  This cloud spread to Europe and rained down as radioactive snow.  I watched as people were herded onto freight trains in order to get them out of the area quickly. I saw an odometer type device that was showing the current count of the number of people who had been evacuated from the area.  At the time of the dream I saw a number around 80,000 as it continued to climb.

At the time of this dream, I was more focused on the out of body aspects of the experience, which involved me flying over the earth and walking across a bridge that floated in the sky.  The experience with the  news broadcast began after I observed that the entire scene turned to snow or static and was replaced by a new scene.    At the time, though, I described the entire dream to my roommate, Joe, who in three weeks called me into the living room to watch a news broadcast about an explosion over Russia in the area now known by the world as Chernobyl.  Each element in the dream was exactly as the Chernobyl event several weeks later.  There was a radioactive explosion (not a leak—this was an explosion that sent a cloud up into the atmosphere). This cloud menaced Europe in the dream, which did happen in the Chernobyl event.  People were herded quickly onto freight cars both in the dream and in real life as a way to get them quickly out of the area.  The count I had seen was over 80,000 had been evacuated, which suggested this was a city or town area.  When Joe called me in as he sat amazed at the news report, they said during that report that as many as 80,000 people had already been evacuated from the area.

These are the kinds of dreams that I have had over my life.  They have been specific enough in the ways I have explained to you to be more than merely plucking a good guess out of the air.  The level of corollaries between the dream and the events usually within a month of the dream, have been extraordinarily good in my view.

Now I know what some people have said to me about this in the past, which have been along the lines of “Well, Parker, its easy for YOU to have dreams like this, but you aren’t LIKE other people…”  and to this I have to carefully explain that in each person’s life there is some evidence for unexplained phenomenon.  Maybe you don’t have dreams that came true, but perhaps you find yourself thinking about someone and find that they were mentioning you at the exact same time, or perhaps you get a feeling of foreboding only to find that at the same time a loved one was involved in an accident.  Perhaps you experience this in dream, or waking, or both.  You see, to my mind, dream and waking are all part of life and both serve important roles in our lives. Me, I just don’t ascribe to dreams just being random firings of the brain as it sifts through the days’ material.  I know that dreams are therapeutic, quite literally releasing trauma from the past, working through issues within the emotional landscape as well as deeper soulful issues.  I also know that dreams are a kind of window into other dimensions, dimensions we travel to by traveling not through space but through our own awareness.  You see, we ARE the window to other worlds and that window CAN be found by expanding consciousness.  It is curious that in dream we do the same things as those who meditate and are able to let the ego go in order to experience cosmic consciousness.  The cool thing is that ego is dispensed with the same way you take off a pair of socks or pants as you get ready to go to bed.  In fact, you can’t really do most of your dreaming with ego still all around you.  But when you let go of ego, some quite remarkable things begin to happen.

Now as an aside I will explain why I am talking about ego. I mean, how on earth do I KNOW that we let go of ego when we dream?  My work during my awakening of kundalini has shown me quite clearly that the concept of “ego death” (a term I absolutely dislike for how incorrect it is) goes hand in hand with being able to experience similar KINDS of things while still awake that the mind does -normally- when asleep.  I have also observed how ego has been lain aside while awake in order for certain dream-like phenomenon to arise much like what some people do in meditation or in shamanic practice.  The main feature of doing this is that you are more free to tap larger portions of awareness that naturally get filtered out by the controlling agent called ego.  To show what I mean, perhaps you can remember starting to dream and then realizing that you are dreaming.  What happens when you do this?  In my experience I always stop dreaming.  I have become self conscious.  I have suddenly taken on ego as “I” identifies that “I” am dreaming.  Ego and dreaming don’t work together.  You need to have a loosening of the ego in order for the part of you that can create those dreams to operate properly.  Part of it has to constructing a kind of creative scaffolding where your imagery can spread out and play. This play, though can be mulling feelings over, venting, thinking, hallucinating, seeing the future, and traveling out of body (OOBE) somewhere quite interesting.

The ego can be quite the wet blanket, you see.  It’s a very useful thing, but you have to learn how to put ego aside so you can begin to experience the broader realm of your being.  I promise you that ego limits you absolutely.  And this is, of course, why I LOVED dream so much.  It let me go ego-less during a time when I was simply not yet ready for this thing called ego death (which I experienced during my awakening process).

But this isn’t about seeing the future.  Not really.  I am using seeing the future as an example of what CAN be done.  I figure if I can show you some rather fantastic examples of what has happened to me, you might just realize that you too have the same opportunities.  (Jesus said something about others doing even greater things than he did….) Granted, you might not be so keen about time travel.  Maybe for you its something else, like experiencing the effects of shifting from one brain state to another while “awake” in the dream state.  Clearly the static I saw in the dream of Chernobyl where once scene shifted into another was itself the shifting from one brain state to another.  I have actually been able to fool my brain into thinking I am asleep when I am actually awake and the exact same thing will happen, and I am able to observe it while I am awake and it is VERY much like a wall of static filling the view and my body and I simply vibrate into a different state and scene. It is, I do think, a way for the brain to travel dimensionally by changing its own energetic signature via its brainwaves. it turns out that this technique has been used for thousands of years by Tibetan monks and is a way for them to dream awake, or to have lucid dreams while being fully awake instead of asleep. You might think that dream and waking are fundamentally different, but I am telling you that you can and will break down the barriers between waking and sleeping when you begin to become more inclusive or broader in your awareness of these different states of being.  And don’t worry; all will not be chaos.  Instead, what will emerge is a sense of unity of awareness.  You simply wont see dream as some strange land anymore.  It will be understood as a very useful tool for relaxing, sleeping, as well as having all sorts of adventures both fictional and nonfictional.

Dreaming can be a way to expand your own energetic signature and mobility of consciousness.  The more aware you are of what you do in dreams and HOW you FEEL in dreams can lead to being able to relate to certain energetic states that correspond to deep shifts in consciousness within those dreams.  If you can learn how to FEEL the way you FEEL in a dream, you are actually that much closer to being able to experience an expanded state of awareness while awake.  You don’t need mantras, you simply have to remember.  The more you do, the more likely you are to see the phenomenon in a dream begin to make its entrance into waking.

I recently read a comment someone made about dreaming and meditation and the person described meditating as a form of self-hypnosis.  The sense I got from the commenter was that this was somehow bad or not desirable.  But really, the vast amount of self-improvement that we do, whether in meditation or in the therapists office is actually attributed to hypnosis.  What many people don’t fully realize is that MOST hypnosis today is done while the subjects are completely awake. Hypnosis might work at deeper levels of the self if you are put into a deep state of relaxation (the “trance” as it is called) but everyone in the psychiatric field knows that this is by no means a requirement. So anytime you want to change, you simply make he suggestion to yourself that you want the change.  That is the nature of suggestion.  You can go into a deep state of relaxation, you can even make hypnotic suggestions as you lie down to sleep that you will use the dream state to do lucid work in that dream.  This is much like I did when I experienced Quetzalcoatl in dream work from the same year that I had the Chernobyl dream (1985).  In THAT dream, I was attempting to use the dream state as a way to springboard into an OOBE. The technique I used worked really well, and that technique was as simple as a suggestion I made prior to falling asleep.  You can read that entry HERE.

As an aside, my observation about out of body experiences (OOBE’s) is that they can allow you to experience broader states of awareness than you might otherwise.  In some ways, it can be a catalyst for greater change because it seems to me that once free from the body to a great degree, the experience of energy is so much larger, or broader.  The reason for this, I sense, is that the consciousness is not so tied to the body.  The body itself, not just the brain, is a series of blocks of an emotional nature that inhibit the flow of prana or universal consciousness.  When these channels are cleared sufficiently, there can be a powerful flow of energy released which the Hindu call Kundalini and what we often simply call “awakening.”

To some, this is kind of the holy grail of inner work since kundalini acts as an accelerating catalyst for inner change. This is nothing more than life force now flowing in abundance, but the effect this prana or life force has on you is that it stirs every inch of you and if you surrender you feel freedom and bliss and if you hold on, you feel paranoia and pain.  The stirring, though, is the stirring of the old blocks that reside in your body.  When these blocks are cleared, you experience the moment differently than before. Think of it as a kind of cosmic tune up that involves releasing lifetimes of pent up karma that has been recorded in your light body and is stored in your physical body.  It is itself a powerful process and can be akin to riding a roller coaster; you get on and there is no getting off until the ride is through.  But I suspect based on my own experience is that OOBE’s can provide the same unlimited flow of energy as in awakening without bringing it into the body.  This could have some advantages.  It COULD be used to gradually acquaint you with what its like to have this kind of energy flowing through you, to overcome what seems to be some anxiety or fear of such incredible flows of energy coming in and learn how to cope with it.  Now I say this based on my own experience with the out of body state, which was nothing short of a grand face to face experience with significant amounts of energy.  And where there is energy, there is consciousness.  That means your consciousness will expand. That sounds a bit like some of the goals of meditation, right? Find out who you are, what you are, what you are capable of?  Your birthright, right?

There are many ways to reach what it is you are looking for.  We are all in some way looking for it, even when it seems dysfunctional.  The thing we seek is what this prana force is.  It is love. I will just tell you now and get it over with because in time, if you clear the way, you will feel it so utterly that it will be entirely obvious.  But when that day comes, you will know this love less as a thing you feel for someone as it is a force as gravity and the wind are forces in nature.  It might be hard to imagine how love might be a force like that, but it is.  When you clear the way then you will feel love in all of its different dimensions or aspects.  And this is good because in doing meditation work based on curiosity about what you are, you discover the most beautiful thing about yourself. And that is a whole lot of good!

05709-sun_and_earthEven after all this time
The sun never says to the earth,
“You owe Me.”

Look what happens with
A love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.
― Hafiz

KundaliniCreative energy is by its very nature the force that breaks through old forms, opens the flower bud, that gives new form to old ideas, new ideas to old forms, and is entirely blissful all at the same time.  The truth is, we feel great when we are creative.  On top of the world.  A million bucks. Nothing can stop us.

When the left and the right brains work together, like man and woman, this experience, which most people find to be so intimate that they want to be alone or feel alone in order to get themselves to the place where they can “do it” (be creative) is so much so like how we feel about entering into an intimate situation with another.  We want to be alone.  We get excited, we sit on the edge of our seats, we become utterly seduced by our first ideas which then lead to more ideas.  It all seems a mystery until the second that it happens.  We try all sorts of different ideas, sketches, designs, or ideas.  We play with them like a child plays with blocks.  And then somehow, it all clicks into place.  The inspiration fills us and the information flows.  As if through some unknown crack in the wall, the water of life pours through to us and enlivens us and nourishes us. You have to let lose that tight hold you have on yourself.  You aren’t going to come undone in any other way than what will be perfect.

This flow is in the body the flow of the negative force and the positive forces merging.  In the brain it is how the left and right hemispheres work together to develop ideas that neither of the two could ever hope to do alone.  the very masculine left brain has all sorts of ideas, but those ideas are just that.  A nub of something, but “he” brings it to the feminine and she takes it into herself in order to dream it anew, to do her work of nurturing the idea.  Something magic happens when the two qualities merge; they create more energy then they could ever do alone.  It is just what happens when two people who love each other or who are interested in one another come before each other; there is an expansion of energy, there is a seduction that takes place, a very beautiful experience unfolds.  But to do so, in both instances, in both cases, requires a good degree of vulnerability.  In both intimacy and in creativity, one has to “put ones self out there” in order to realize the greatest rewards.  To do this means surrender, letting go, and in that letting go we allow the great mystery of the experience to unfold.  This is where the higher self steps in.  This is where you don’t have to know anything, for you will be filled.  An entire career’s worth of work can emerge in such moments, and often has.  The mystics call this the All.

To feel it, you embody it.  to embody it, you feel it.  You allow yourself to let go.  You release fear and anxiety.  It flows in you, you see.  Love to be creative, love to feel this love.  Creativity is certainly this; love.  You cannot feel its flow when angled down into fear.  You simply have to be willing to stick your neck out a little and not worry about what others will think.  You need to love the feeling more than anything.  Luckily, that feeling feels better than anything.

So come out of that cage.  We each have it.  Inside each of us, a wild tiger lives whose blood runs thick and hot and whose primal force can become the fuel for amazing things.  Within each of us lies the fire.  For some, it is but a small ember.  For others, the flames burn wildly as others stand back, jealous and in wonder over how anyone could be so free.

Don’t be afraid to dream your wildest dreams.  Read Whitman and yelp and be free and don’t worry over practicality or marketability.  This is your freedom and surely no price can be placed on that.  Not everyone will recognize it as important or worthy.  It doesn’t need to be.  Only you need to recognize it and feel it.  if you feel it only because of another, it really isn’t authentic.  Don’t seek the approval of others, only your own authentic experience as the guide.  You can thus become a beacon to others including yourself.

To dream in this way means you are willing to journey with no idea what you will find. It was always been in such efforts that incredible surprises are most often found, so be willing to follow your instinct and wild hairs and go off the path into the woods once in a while because great things lay in wait, conspiring to make your life more interesting.

Create, ooze with the joy and wonder that lives inside of you.  Give birth to tall tales, brilliant musical masterpieces, wonderful drawings and stories and lyrics.  Goodness knows we need this to help dilute the constant drumbeat of war and trouble in the world. Replace the trouble with beauty and wonder and the world will question why we must look at things always from the worst case scenario instead of simply sharing our sandbox space and playing nice with one another.  In the brilliant days of childhood exist all the great lessons of humanity.  Dwelling in that place is far preferred to the more shadowed lands we seem to have been inhabiting as of late.  Humanity hungers for the light and cool waters of spirit and creativity to renew it and give it hope.  Without it, why continue?

So continue.  Be bold, bear your truth bravely and honestly, whatever that truth might be.  If nothing else, be an inspiration even if others think you an ideologue.  Stand tall and see magic around every corner; it is beckoning you, you know. run like children down the pathways of discovery to find what is next in line for you and the rest of us.  If given the choice of hopefulness or hopelessness, doesn’t hope seem so much better the choice to take?  And in taking it, grasp and hold it evermore.

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