To heal a life it can be instructive to understand how suffering was first created….not to relive it, no, but to understand the underlying impulses that led to the trouble to begin with.
Humans universally push down hurtful material that they do not feel the capacity or ability to deal with in the moment. By doing this, the trauma or hurt gets shoved down, so deep that it can be in the subconscious regions where the material still echos through the self but the waking aware self is utterly puzzled over where the trouble is coming from. And if the self DOES know the source, knowing how to heal it seems, often, a mystery. Even small things can get hung up within the light body. I have dealt with scores and scores of little things so inconsequential, yet present, that I could not even begin to know exactly where they cropped up, only that they slipped quietly away only to be replaced with a sharper sense of focus, knowing, and love. Even the slight slights leave their mark. But we can erase them.
The way we have shoved material down requires that we remove it the opposite from the act of its submersion. From experience I can say absolutely that the things that were seemingly inconsequential leave quickly and from the “surface” of awareness. The harder material has remained longer, seems more central and deeply set within. Some people struggle with these things for a lifetime trying to get down to the depth of where they rest. If they got shoved down deep, you have to go deep. Feel deep. Forgive deep. Love deep. More completely.
To seek to reveal pent up emotion by denying it in anyway wont work. This is itself a form of denying emotion with was the problem to begin with. No, to remove material in a conscious way requires you to feel it as deeply as it has been shoved down. I think you will agree that some of our junk has been shoved way deep. Deep into the etheric sheaths, deep into the psyche. Deep into the self. Deep. So it means to get it out means being completely honest. Honest with your feelings, even if they make NO sense, freak you out, scare you, or make you feel shame. Often it is the very presence of shame that has created a lot of the trouble in us from the beginning. Shame begets repression and repression begets madness.
To feel the depths of divine love, grace, and forgiveness means being willing to love all our broken parts with acceptance, all the way down, no holding back, no holds barred. When you do this, you actually provide a pathway for your awareness to travel deep inside the nether regions of your own spiritual madness, your own hurt, your anger, rage, and all the rest. Somehow, this direct honest is the perfect eraser for past dysfunction and fracture.
Lets say that you feel shame for being attracted to something or someone….and as long as you feel shame about that, you remain connected to it. Maybe it is a behavior, a thought, a philosophy, a way of thinking, or a person. Hold back, and it keeps its hooks in you. You have just made your work harder.
Why?
Maybe you aren’t ready, or maybe you just aren’t sure. Ultimately, you alone will have to find how this works for the heart and soul. But in the end, letting go is letting go. Denial is not letting go. For as deep as we have shoved all our stuff and denied it, we usually need the same in reverse, which is awareness, and acceptance, and forgiveness of self. Not just saying you forgive. Feeling it. Being it. And then you become something else (kind of). You are returned, one step closer, to your essential self. When you are ready, you are ready. IN that time, there are no more bargains, no glossing or hiding or guessing. You will know.
Feel it or don’t feel it. Its up to you. If its in you and you do not wish to feel it, it will for the time being, remain. But when you are ready, letting go, surrender, is unconditional.