Before I tell you this I am going to qualify it by saying that I fully suspect that what I have experienced is itself through some sort of filter or other.  I cannot, however, dismiss what it is that I will experience as a result of a very particular form of reverie as just imagination simply because I know now the role that imagination plays in helping to channel information into our awareness.  We clothe reality in all manner of dress while the essential truth lies within the body that is clothed.  Thus, the gods and goddesses come to us in myriad forms and ways and each one of them is in their own way valid, true, and real.  They themselves are connected into a vast network of sorts, a realm of being that is infinite. Like us, they live many different kinds of lives.  As such, there is a god and goddess within each of us simply because reality is not itself set to some linear process.  Our being exists all at once.  It is a mind boggling sort of realization, but when you feel it flooding into you, you can begin to get just how tangible and real this simultaneousness of time really is.  So what  I am saying is that I continue to have these experiences with touching the All which is very specific in how it comes to me and is actually entirely different from what I grew up imagining was the case.

There is this being that is so still and yet also so vibrant and alive.  A part of it is entirely conscious and aware of everything ALL AT ONCE.  This “everything” is actually a LOT of stuff.  A LOT.  Endless realities, worlds, and endless material packed into all of these worlds.  Our world is but one of many within this density of matter.  Countless worlds with life dot the skies.  COuntless other realities, versions of our own where copies of ourselves reside, counterparts of our own souls but experiencing slightly different situations within them exist.  There are all these realities which we don’t seem to know much about yet that do indeed exist and this being, the All, is aware of all of it.  How do I know this?  I have experienced watching it do this.  In my own fashion.

What I wind up seeing is something akin to what I can only describe as being like a giant egg or atom. It isn’t that I see this, but that I FEEL it.  This is then translated, through feeling into something that matches it or approximates it.  This is where I suspect a filter or lens is being used, and I think that when it comes to something that is outside our very physical way of associating with reality, we wind up fashioning something that is something of a translation.  What I am describing to you is just this.   Across its surface or moving all through it are all the events and things and thoughts that exist and that are happening NOW.  Every time I go back to it, it seems to change, to be slightly different, but in the way that something vast is different….that changes fast, but still retains something of its past self.  It is recognized as being the same thing in the same way that an old friend whom you have not seen in years is still recognizable.  What I see when I reach this place is something akin to a giant ball that has everything that is happening now moving through it.  It is like a giant boundless station where everything that is crosses through it, and observing how it observes is what I do….and I am fascinated by what I see or feel. I sense a deep state of attention, almost meditative with a very dynamic and alive sense or quality.  This is no dour god being that sits atop some lofty perch looking down on creation.  Not in the least.  Some how it is both within all of creation while also knowing itself in this space or place, an awareness of itself as individual but also an aggregate of everything else….a giant carpet upon which all of creation rides and becomes.  It is curious because this presence that is this form isn’t unapproachable at all, but is just the opposite.  There is nothing “fatherly” about this being and yet it is also truly humane without being human.  It is an intelligent energy that resides within everything. It watches or dreams deeply all that is taking place and does so in a state of what I can only call a mix of deep reverence and love.  It is watching all of this and it is learning.  It is learning the same way a parent learns from watching a child.  It is less a desire to correct as it is to marvel at what it has created.  Fresh and new in each moment, this being of the All observes in a way that feels participatory even though it is somehow NOT directing events.

When I experience this being, I do not hear some loud booming voice.  In fact, I hear no voice at all.  I sense a presence and it is entirely absorbed into everything. Across its surface skip countless images every second, material so fleet that my mind cannot even register it, except to know that it is there.  While it might seem that this is like some vast switch board, it is much more than just that.

When I find myself having reached this place within myself I remind myself that I need to reside here often because it is such a good place to be.  I say to it that I want to be just like it because whenever I come into the awareness that makes such a perception possible, I feel expansive and at one with myself and a current that is all of life.  The difference between me and this presence is that I feel the current more like how one might feel blood pumping through your veins whereas this being seems to be aware of each little thing, down to the atoms and subatomic particles because it IS everything.  In a way, it has kind of co-opted our awareness but in a way that does not direct or change anything.  We inhabit its body without knowing it….like cells living in a larger body with the being sitting “atop” all of these cells seeing itself as its own authentic self even though there are countless other authentic selves that reside within it.

Nothing about this being suggests that it is beating down anyone’s door.  It has no great secrets to impart or an agenda to press upon.  It feels like a completely  unconditional form of love that is more a being than a thing we feel.  Its like…..hmmm….its like this very particular thing originates with this being and it is something that it feels that is so special and can be felt just as it has always been.  Its unwavering and it is primordial because when you feel it, you are feeling into the vastness of the All knowing that this character of love is what everything will feel eventually when it begins to encounter the reality of this being, this All-ness.  It is everything, or resides within everything without getting in the way of our lives at all.  In fact, we go about our lives most often oblivious to its presence.

It feels like some part of it is waiting for us to wake up… become aware of it.  This, I sense, is a special moment, those glimmers of awareness.  It is like the lover who is always waiting outside your door just as you aren’t even aware that it had  been there all along.

To know the love of this being, just look outside and look at the utter profusion of life that is springing up everywhere.  Look at a small flower bud and look at how detailed, how miraculous it is and as you do, see those things as the presence of its love, which is itself a creative aspect of its being….love and creation touching one another. Except instead of having a few children, everything that is is its children.  Down to the atoms and quarks and all the rest. When you get that the love of this being is supporting all of this, then you can perhaps see just how incredible this being is.  And as I say this, it is entirely approachable.  It recognizes everything in an instant because it is itself.  Even as we have individuality, it too has individuality even as it is also not divided.  It is the great sum of all and is itself more.  Touching it in awareness is like being fed into a cosmic power line of the inspired state.

I have read somewhere, perhaps Osho who said this being cannot be grasped or cannot be known.  Maybe that is true.  But each time I reach into it and find it, it has been pretty much the same even though my own awareness has changed significantly over these last seven years since kundalini clicked on all the lights inside of me.It could be that this is simpler for me, and maybe that is so, but thus far it has remained unchanged.  I suspect that a direct experience of it would be different and yes, I think I am filtering material to a certain extent and yet, it is like the dyke is being held back even as rivulettes of water, its presence , trickles in.  It is streaming into our world even as it is entirely within it.  It streams in just as we realize it had never been absent one moment but had been there all along, a silent visitor who has granted us freewill and thus would not get in the way of that. It waits for when WE are ready.  To see it.  To feel it.  To BE it.

And that is how I experience this being that feels to me to be like All That Is.  For what it is worth…

The end.