Awakening, the power that rests in all of us offers the possibility of erasing the knots and blocks that, like computer viruses, block our awareness of what is and turn in us affecting our emotions and behavior.  This was just what Philip in his lesser-known gospel was talking about when he said “It is the evil that makes you do what you do not want to do and keeps you from doing what you want to do.”  Perfect.  As you wake, you will begin to brush up against this as the churning of kundalini releases these knots.  The self resolves into a calm pond instead of one constantly in agitation, chaos.  What seemed normal for so may years, perhaps your whole life is suddenly seen, or gradually seen, in a new context.  We have just been so used to have out sensitivity scoured away by the daily grind of the caustic presence of this backlog of karma and what it does to us.  You might think that for as bad as all of that is, once you tasted this new life you would never want to go back to the old.  Yes and no.  We have been so conditioned to this mode of behavior that even though it is dysfunctional, it has served to define us for so long.  Learning how to step away from the addiction to bad behavior and chaos is like weaning a drug addict off of heroin.  And none of us are immune.  Even those who have taken great strides all have their hitches and challenges.  The idea that when you awaken you awaken perfect is not true, and is the glitch in our own karmic need to give away our personal power to an authority instead of making discernments on our own and making up our own minds, following our own instincts.

Compassion is what levels the playing field.  Without it, it is all a bunch of finger pointing, Inquisitions, and an inability to take responsibility for how we feel and act.  The freedom we will find is in this path of radical responsibility.  IT is the freedom and has the power to heal great wounds and fears.  Fear, once faced, melts away.  What is left after years of melting?  Your authentic self….and this self is most interesting.

If healing fears and hurt and hard emotions is eluding you, one of the ways to deal with them is to gently, fearlessly, face them.  Look at them. This turning away, this fear, this avoidance, it is what has bred the long-standing hurts to begin with.  We tell ourselves that others hurt us and thus we shrunk back and hide inside ourselves like animals who fear the shadow of the hawk.  And yet, I say to you, this is all based on a lie.  The real truth is that no one ever made us feel ANYTHING that we ourselves did not agree to feel.

Five people in the same room all seeing the same event can all respond differently to the same thing. Of course, we want to think that since we are human we will ALL respond the same way, but this is just not so.  We have choice, and you make choices moment by moment on how to feel about any number of things.  When you shine a bright light on it, which kundalini does, the small things become big and you are shown over and over just how involved your choice to feel is engaged in the creation of your life.  You are not some powerless lemming.  You are infinite. We tell ourselves even that we are not godlike, that it is heresy and error to think this way just to let ourselves off the hook for being responsible.  But we are each responsible. When we own that, moment by moment in awareness, then how you feel when you go out to the car and feel that stab of uncertainty about whether the car will start in the cold, or that feeling of anxiety in having to talk to your boss, or even just having to go out to the market when you’d rather just stay at home, all become perfect examples, small examples, of a much larger continuum at work in your life.

So what about the really big things?   There is a way out of this, and part of it is knowing there is nothing to fear except fear.  It may sound corny and very FDR-ish, but the man was right.  He perhaps used this for his own political ends, but it is absolutely true.  Life can be faced with fear or it can be faced with bravery which is simply not prejudicing yourself in the moment and thinking you know that something will turn out badly or could turn out badly or feeling uncertain.  The brave are not brave because they lack fear, they simply do not seek to drag fear into the moment and thus are free to meet the moment on its own terms. The path to healing begins in this way and it begins with a willingness to change and a willingness to face the truth, whatever that truth is. What may have been faced fearfully becomes a lesson that standing up to a fear meant there was far less to fear than thought, and with our primate brains engaged, we learn quickly so next time it becomes easier. Greater are the rewards when we follow our intuition and not give ourselves the time to even ponder over how we feel.  This, when done with grace, leads to a very streamlined movement through a jungle of things.  I say this because I have experienced this and I wish I could say I use it each time I face something, which I do not, but I am learning…..bit by bit I am learning.

Along with this comes humility, the humility to allow the world to show you what you most need to see in yourself, and once shown, look at it without turning away and own it.  Only in owning it will you release it. When you choose to own something, you are effectively no longer running from it, or avoiding it.  The divine does n0t work in you properly when you run from what is true.  Some are made fearful of the consequences of admitting shortcomings or fault.  After all, there is a price to be paid for not doing so, which is being cast into hell or being ostracized from the group, right?   Some of us still resonate with this belief, this feeling, this fear. I ask you, what divine consciousness which can design the world and dna and blackholes and all the rest, would seek to cast a part of its own self into hellfire?  No, we cast ourselves into hell.  Lacking love, only hell is an option a loveless soul would choose.  We are lost without this love…..which is not the love most know, but is a pulsing vibrant and living thing, the parent or root of all other loves that are FOR something.  This love IS something….and is not merely a current that moves through he heart of a deity or person, but is something I can only describe as ALIVE.  That, though, is another piece on the blog.

When it comes to hell, I say it is our own creation.  We do it ourselves, and we get out of it ourselves.  The same is so with karma.  All blocks resolve back to karma.  Removing karma releases joy and a refining font of bliss in you.   This is an odd turn of  our minds that say some outside authority will be doing this to us if we don’t do right.  This must change if we are ever to get a handle on our own suffering.  The  authority lies within us and if we feel badly about something, we literally create discomfort in ourselves because we are not in harmony with the divine.  The divine does not seek retribution like some angry father who keeps score.  We humans do that.  It is time to OWN the hell we make for ourselves for only we can transform it.  But when you do, it is instantaneous.  It may be that you transform a small part of it, but that part resolves into something brilliant and beautiful.

Curiously, most fire-breathing dragons lurking in the depths of our souls are in fact very different once we no longer see them through the lens of fear or uncertainty. Enemies turn into allies, threats transform into opportunities.  The side, the duality, the Other simply ceases to be.  Instead of fighting agains the world, you use the momentum in the world to flow with it in harmony.  To do this well often means letting go of ego, to a position or agenda.  It is more selfless and it is far more powerful.  It is easier to transform the fury of something in you or in others and use its forward motion for a divine purpose than to allow it to remain as a threat and a hardened object in life.  Turn the attackers forward motion in your heart into a force for good.  You simply choose to see it differently.  As you do this, life will change. Bit by bit, “battle” by “battle” fears are overcome as they are squarely faced.

The power of awakening can lead to radical release of all manner of material within you.  Years of burden are dropped, some in dream, some while awake, some while just riding in the car or buying groceries.  This does not require, now, a temple or guru or method or posture.  ONce you “get” it, its very presence seems to move through you like some new life, transforming the compounds in your body, transmuting grief into joy as now the old ways no longer suit or satiate your hunger for fulfillment.  A new life begins, a devotion is born….and while you can ignore it or hide it, it is a bell that cannot be unrung.

Being able to set aside wah you think all of this might look like seems to me in my expereince the perfect precursor to having this actually take place.  Let the mind go blank, cease the ramble of all that you are and allow what is in the infinite begin to flow in.  Outside this small corner of the universe in physical reality, the flow of time is not the only rule of existence.  Beyond this is the infinite, which is an expanding presence of consciousness that we perceive as a form of time, of causal landscaping.  To know yourself means going back to the very root, to the “beginning” of what you are.  This will show you your connection to everything, what you are and the great royal lineage from which we all spring from.

This release is life changing and makes the high low and the low high. WHat once was one, becomes two, and what was two will become one.  When ego collapses, when you say for the mountain to move, it will move. No longer are you working the world based on the limiting aspects of the ego and individual self but the infinite self now more fully present in time.  Perhaps those who awoke and who exhibited these traits were seen as sorcerers or witches and often were shunned or killed.  Many have been killed just for suspicion of this. So perhaps no wonder we have a fear of stepping out of line or being different. There is probably a evolutionary hindrance built in for that, but we must each press against those bonds and ask of the higher to show us what is next, what it is we can become even if we ourselves do not know what that looks like.  It always winds up far more beautiful and amazing than anything that could be imagined or dreamed up.  A constant return to the root, to the essence of all life, to all being, to all knowing.