There is an interesting correlation between the Smith in the Matrix and how our own karma operates.  I have written extensively on my take, my very personal take, on the nature of karma only because it seems to be different from what I have read elsewhere. These writings are not here on this blog, but will be showing up in the book Waking The Infinite. It is how I have come to related to it during an intensive process of actually dissolving karmic threads during my awakening.  I wont say it is the authority, the end-all-be-all but simply my view, and in this way it might provide some nuggets for you to consider when dealing with negative karma.

But one biggie for us here is shame, and with shame goes a collective self loathing that shows up in a number of traditions.  There is a sense that this place is a prison, a kind of backwater spiritually.  In some traditions we are likened to a broken imperfect species who can’t seem to follow what the deity wishes for us to do.  We are the rebellious children undoing all the fine teachings of our parents. But the curious thing about issues that are karmic and negative is that we project them outward onto the world.  So what we think we see is itself a kind of reality tunnel that feels real but has merely the gloss of our own karmic issues.  I will say for the sake of history that I do view negative karma and past trauma as being directly connected.  What is unresolved will repeat, as most psychologists will tell you.  What repeats is also karmic and is one reason why we call it the wheel of karma for the number of times we spend in journeys from one life to the next seeking to dissolve this tangle of feeling in us. The goal in knowing what we are is in dissolving all of this backlog of karma so we can feel this inner divine self more clearly.  But back to Smith.

Smith expresses his disdain for the world of humans, for the smell of the reality, how he loathed even being here in this backwater realm doing the work of the machine world.  It is curious that Smith serves as our own collective loathing of ourselves and thus our world projected outward.  In the same sentence, Smith is a kind of agent of the parasitic creatures that feed off of human energy, which is itself another very real eventuality of karma, which just like a computer virus, it seems to run on its own.  It is what Philip, in his gospel (Nag Hammadi) described as the thing that owns us, is master over us, and we are its slave.  He goes on to explain that when it is pulled from its very root, it is gone forever and we are freed from that nasty little subroutine, virus, or little agent working in the background like Smith, keeping things working for the world of the karmic machines.

When I awoke I awoke to being aware of a presence of a being that was a bit like a monster.  This creature I learned was a parasitic creature that had attached itself to someone whom I had never met in this life.  Suddenly it was as though some strange door to another world opened and I was getting all this information for who knows what reason.  But I was getting it in copious amounts.  I knew everything about this creature that made it tick, that motivated it.  I read into all of this that this was because I had some capacity to remove this creature from this person. But what person?  What on earth am I even talking about?  Welcome to the unusual world of the hyperversal.  I discovered that there was a person who had been dogged by dreams of beings that would show up and would behave in a manner consistent with the images I had seen.  Somehow I knew that this person was on a message board about aliens, that this person had thought that she was being visited by an alien consciousness.  What I saw was that this was not alien at all, but a lower level etheric being that lived on the outskirts of physical reality, a kind of energetic outlaw, and it had been around for a very long time.  I considered that it may have been a kind of fragment of consciousness expelled from someone at some time, not fully formed, not fully endowed with the same kind of consciousness at its parent.  After a mind bending series of questions and answers where I did not want to reveal everything that I knew at once for fear I was somehow wrong or (worse) delusional, I parsed my questions out over several question and answer periods.  I found that everything checked out, that everything seemed to fit and that all the weird synchronicities which had taken place surrounding this experience actually served to provide a lot of the clues and information that I needed to understand the nature of this creature.

So enters the hero.  He is here to save the day, to remove the creature from this person’s energy field in a decisive action of scattering illusion.  Sure enough, I seemed to possess something in me, conferred perhaps by this new energy which was kundalini, that protected me from this rather angry creature, and on two occassions, two night apart, I performed a kind of simple act of pushing this creature away, explaining to it that it was born of creation and had its own pathway to the source of all life and that it was time that it learned to draw from its own inner divine connection to the Source of this life instead of feeding parasitically off others.  I didn’t tell this person I had banished the creature.  We had talked about it, but I kept very noncommittal about who when and where.  The night following the final removal, this person wrote to me and asked me if I had done something.  She explained that she had slept like a baby the night before and had overslept.  it was the first time in fifteen years of working for this company that she got to work late.  You see, this person had become a chronic insomniac as a result of these “visits” as she called them.  She had determined when these visits happened in the night and worked to wake up before they took place, which meant she was often up at three in the morning many nights.  This was how she had coped for years.  It was interesting to see the effect this had on her.  I patted myself on the back for not thinking I had gone delusional and that the universe was doing its work through me.

The only problem with all of this is that behind the scenes, there was another layer of karma at work, which had to do with people who feel powerless and people who feel empowered to help the powerless.  Now in some cases, this can be something that can change the tide of how things are in our world.  But as is also just as likely, it is a very subtle operation where people who do not yet know how to be empowered are given another chance at not standing up and claiming their own rightful power and self responsibility.  This is not an easy thing to do I will admit.  We have layers of illusion surrounding these things. The poor can’t help being poor; look at how they are discriminated against.  The victims of the world never asked to be victimized  And yet, the reality is is that these things happened and the world operates on the the Law of Attraction.  But just for the record, this does not somehow give anyone a pass for hurting others.  No.  That is itself another karmic tangle in itself.  The other.  If you suspend your belief and feelings for a moment, you can always trace the bad things back to something that happened not as a result of another persons actions to another person, but to the person themselves.  No, we do NOT want bad things to happen to us, but until we root out those subroutines, viruses, or Smiths, we will continue to be dogged by them.  Period. I have loads of compassion for the hurt and wounded of the world, but I also know now that that the way out of feeling wounded is to know that you aren’t breakable, but immortal.  This is knowing your root truth, not the extraneous illusion that keeps us locked in our sense of lack or hurt or all the rest.  In the eastern traditions, this is undoing illusion.

So the karma for me was that I did not have enough self love in me that would say I am already good enough all on my own.  In some lack I had, I perhaps secretly needed someone else to pat me on the head and tell me what a good person I was.  This was made more amazing by the backflips made by teasing out such detailed information about a person’s inner life I knew little about.  This is a lesson in not becoming overly fixated on what the soul can do so easily.  Sure, miracles can happen, and we can be blinded by them if we do not look deeper at the fundamentals going on underneath.  Is a healer healing because s/he needs praise?  That is the wrong reason to be healing, I say.  From experience. I will also add that I was not aware that I was doing this stuff.  It had to be pointed out to me by someone with a greater or clearer perspective than I had a the time.  I was in actuality working along with the Smith in me just as I had been doing for years.   This one simple frailty, whatever it happens to be,  will set up an energy in everything that you do, and it will reinforce itself.  It will attract other energies that will latch on to you because that feeling, to them, is what feeds them. Even if it is negative.  And as a result, we will come into contact with people over and over who all have the same issues and who need to be saved, as was my case, or some other issue for someone else who has a different set of karmic issues.  Curious, no?  What is not resolved will persist.

So the real lesson for me in dissolving all of this was not battling with this Smith, but understanding how this Smith came to be, my relationship to it energetically, and that I need to bring self love first into the equation if I am going to get anywhere.  The Smith did not come about as a result of love but a lack of it.  In me.  Somewhere I identified that because of something that happened to me in the world that I was somehow not worthy of love. It may not have even been an action done to me, but just a lingering feeling that then drove me along a certain path (I say “drove” as if I had no choice – we always have choice) Then, the Smiths simply cease to be because the world I live in no longer attracts this. I have since become aware of these same beings around other people and some of them are curious in how there is a network of people that share similar beings and also similar karmas.  These kinds of groups, or birds of a feather, flock together whether they know each other or not. Some know each other and share in the same beings while others who have never met share the same being.  In either case, they are linked, and if you seek deeply enough you can always find this link and it will be amazingly similar in its history and effects.  In the end, too, if we do this kind of shamanic work, I think we need to know how to do it in a way where the highest is served for all.  This means that if there is a parasite, we do not solve the issue by simply banishing it, but offering healing to the creature itself.  Perhaps it is as simple as not having gotten the love that it needed to remind it of the love it had to hold within itself in order to be right with the world.  In cases where people have not been loved enough as children, the incidence of sexual addiction can be quite high. The parasite that I dealt with was bound up in an addiction like this.  It came from a perceived lack of love and care that originated with the individual and thus attracted the being in the first place.  We wind up craving something, anything, that feels like nurture and care that we feel we did not get earlier on and that very intimate sense that we have when a parent picks us up, clothes us, bathes us, and feeds us, is what we are after most often, which is itself an effort to go back into time through the present to correct the deficit.  It is just that in the case of the adult, it is shifted into the sexual arena, but no less different for how much care and love we might feel from a partner or spouse.  The sad thing, though, is that this craving drives indiscriminate behavior, a craving so strong that some people will wind up in situations that are simply not in their highest. The real issue is that there is a hole in our bucket and no matter how much we seek to fill that bucket up with love, it drains out of us.  We then get caught in a recursive behavior that then gets tied into our reward system in the brain and we keep hitting the button for more of that chemistry that will make us feel loved and happy.  The amazing thing is that when you just fix that hole in you, your bucket begins to fill up and you cease looking outward for the love that is constantly draining out of you.   I will say that you can have a number of holes in your bucket that all need some fixing.  But you yourself have to do this work if you are going to really own it and experience its rewards.  People can point to your bucket and say you have this hole, but only until you are ready to do the work can you really fully do it.  Seems that this is the one authentic way towards lasting healing of the self.  Until then, we wind up in epic battles with our own inner demons until we learn to heal the sore spot in us that served as a latching-on point for these demons to feed.

So the world seems like it is governed by these karmic subroutines, and they work only because we give them power and permission. The authentic way to heal is to heal it yourself.  Note that I am not here doing it for you, but giving perhaps the gift of awareness that these things exist and that it is not outside of your power to do so. Your own story will be different from mine, so being able to use your own intuition and discernment is important.  Having said this, I do not mean to suggest that this cannot be done with another, you just have to be very clear about what is happening karmically in such cases.  Someone can inspire you to change by bringing you through a series of visualizations where the healer takes a big pair of scissors and cut the cords that bind you to people or to other influences.  This can serve as a powerful image that tells you that you are moving in a new direction.  The healing is being done by you and can be as powerful as the belief that you put into it. If these work, use them. Visualization is the language of the subconscious and we dream in images and thus convey subconscious material to other parts of ourselves all the time.  It is one path toward healing, but it can also be done without images,  by getting down into the feeling that was earlier swathed in images but stands energetically on its own  without discernible form to your very physicaly oriented mind.   These beings are only as strong as your attachment is to the karma.  The karma is itself a turning away from the divine truth that is you. In so doing, we have turned the pure flow of energy from the Source into distorted forms that wind up being karmic.  We have forgotten the great supportive role that the Source of life offers.  We have thus grown into beings that actually believe that we are marooned here on this planet to work off some sentence for past wrongs done.  We are in essence taking the bread of life and scorching it, burning it, so it winds up seeming like it is distasteful.  Scraping off the burned part is scraping off the karma, scraping away the misuse of energy that is this bread of life.  When you can just let the bread of life be without attaching all of your own karma to it, it can be free to be just what it is.  Perfect.  Glorious.  Blissful.  We just need to stop burning the toast!

But we aren’t prisoners except insofar as we have allowed ourselves to be.  We have the power.  We are not broken, but we are whole underneath all the “illusion” of this matrix.  And further, what might seem a dark world is merely the dark stain that our own karma has placed on the mirror with which we see the world with.  Clean that up, and you will start seeing a very different world indeed.  Then, person by person, we will exorcise the world of this seeming control grid that is entirely of our own making.  All karma really is is a misuse of our own power, preferring to believe that we can be hurt rather than lifted up by events.  Instead of feeling defeated by life events, it is just as likely that these events are helping you to rise above, to heal instead of being knocked down.  It is just as likely that the latter is the case as the former.  The very realization that this could be so is the catalyst itself that can and does lead to a cascade of change. There are no magical words or incantations or postures or breathing exercises you have to do unless of course your belief lends them power, in which case you might use them since you need every tool in your toolbox.  At the base root of all of this is intent, which is part of our own free will and our divine selves connected to the source of all life. It is that simple. Now what we do with that intent is up to us.  We decide.  Do you suffer or do you soar?  You have the power, my friends.

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